Im sorry i dont know where to put this, or what to title it haha.

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Tara, May 18, 2007.

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  1. Tara

    Tara Guest

    Hi all.
    Um i was reading some posts and it got me to thinking. This is another incident (not the one i kinda posted about on the abuse threads)

    I can remember when i was younger (say 7 or 8 cause it was before my sister was born), i remember being in bed and at the bottom of my bed there was a closet in the wall. and i just remember someone "being there" and i can hear "its okay, i used to do this to ur mum".
    Now i dont know if its a dream or real.

    BUT, me and my mum were talking the other day and she mentioned my nans ex husband (her stepdad) as she'd bumped into him, so i said "how come we dont see him anymore" (as we were brought up knowing him as grandpa until he left when i was 10/11) anyway she said that he was a pervert and tried touching her when she was younger.

    Now it makes me think that maybe, do u think he abused her and me? it worries me that, that wasnt a dream and it was real.
    I didnt mention anything to her because i dont know. plus i dont know what to say or how to say it.
    Do i just forget about this or what?

    im so confused.
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2007
  2. underdosed

    underdosed Guest

    you cant just "forget about it". the fact that you're writing this is proof. I doubt you would have had dreams about that when you were so young unless it was something you do remeber. I AM NOT A PSYCHOLOGIST however so i cant give any professional opinions of course. i would try to talk to your mom if you can, i know its hard.

    stay safe
    rosalie
     
  3. Tara

    Tara Guest

    thanks Rosalie. I think i'll try and bring it up, its hard because we're never alone to talk, theres always my brothers n sister or her fiancee around. But i think i should mention something because its been niggling at me for years and i just want to understand it.
     
  4. underdosed

    underdosed Guest

    i know its so hard to talk about this stuff. pick somewhere to go (just the two of you) that has a decently long car ride so you can chat alone and be sure no one is in earshot. or if its nice out where you are, go for a walk for some privacy. i like the car however, since it just seems easier when you arent starring the other person straight in the face. if it did happen, she will sympathize better then anyone since the same creep tried the same crap with her. she may be upset (and possilby irratated at first) since it undoubtedly brings up old feelings for her, but it doesnt mean shes mad at you.

    good luck sweetie!
    rosalie
     
  5. Tara

    Tara Guest

    i kind of mentioned it last night. but she shrugged it off. i guess i'll have to try again when its not time for bed or anything!

    thank you for your help. :hug:
     
  6. cassandra

    cassandra Anitiquities Friend

    Did you try to talk to your mum again?

    I'm in a similar situation: it's hard to talk to my mom because she was abused by the same person as a child. I'm pretty sure she feels guilty for not protecting me. Perhaps this is the case with your mother? Or maybe she can't think/talk about what happened to her and therefore can't be there for you. Whatever her reasons for 'shrug(ing) it off' please know there are other people who won't do that to you.
    I'm new here but you can pm me if it might help.
    (hugs)
    ETA: I agree w/ underdosed that if this happened as a small child you probably weren't just dreaming.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 3, 2007
  7. Tara

    Tara Guest

    i kinda said something, but she shrugged it off. i feel stupid for even "thinking" that, that happened. so imma just leave it for a while.

    I have my first therapy session tomorrow so i'll see how that goes first!

    thanks for asking :hug:
     
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