im sorry, its useless

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Cpt-Fantastic, Jan 23, 2011.

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  1. Cpt-Fantastic

    Cpt-Fantastic Banned Member

    i had yet again lost money gambling, and it dawned on me. i am a loser. when i hear about the people around me, what they have achieved at my age, what i could have achieved at my age and should have. and i didnt. and there is no change, i dont change. i keep falling in the same old patterns, i cant be helped anyway, i wont blame my doctors, its just me. im stubborn that way. i saw the golden gate bridge, and started crying, i saw a video of people falling of,XXXX and thought: that should be me. i should have done that when i was 13, now im 20 and look at me, no future, drowning in debt, fat and i owe it all to myself. and im crying now, i havent cried in years, why i dont know. i have just enough credit left to pay for the ticket to san fran. i think this is gonna be my ticket to my demise. XXXXXX, statsify my brain with its most adored chemical one more time, before it gets crushed to its end and it will all be over, peace at last. i came to say to thank you guys, all of you. your warmth and support helped ease the pain, but i cant be helped, i wont find help and im stuck in a pattern i wont break. if i stay alive it will just be living at the same plateau im stuck at now, only older and fatter, and probably more in debt. i have to do this, much love
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 23, 2011
  2. damage.case

    damage.case Well-Known Member

    What kind of gambling do you do?
     
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and so sorry you continue to feel so awful...thought you were going to try to call the Counselling Center...how did that go? Let's try to work out what you should say...or if you want, I will call for you...anything it takes to get help...please know there are ppl here who truly care...J
     
  4. Gemballs

    Gemballs Well-Known Member

    hey, you dont know me but i just want to say that it would be a shame if you go through with it, you look like a much loved person and you still have time you change, you are still very young you have your life to live dont you, try and give yourself more time to proove to yourself, set yourself small goals, dont try to run before you can walk, maybe start by cutting down on your gambling, then eventually stop, then you may feel a lot bettera bout yourself? if ever you need to talk you can pm me at any time

    Gem
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    1st step is acknowledging you have a problem so good for you
    next step is to go get some help for it
    Gambling Anonymous works therapy CBT will work but you have to try right.
    You can make your life better but it will take work there is always hope okay
    time to stop is NOW call and get help.
     
  6. Ravenwing

    Ravenwing Well-Known Member

    Your pain is clear in every word that you type. :hug: But you can get help you know. That starts inside of you. You have already acknowledged to us that you have a gambling problem. That's the first step. Total Eclipse is spot on. Getting CBT will be a real help to you. With regard to your size, so what? I know plenty of thin people who are absolutely vile. Fat or thin does not make you a good person. You do that. But if you want to change your body and lose weight you can. But first of all, you have to change how you think about yourself. You can do it. Taking the first step was talking to us... :hug:
     
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