Today at 09:31 I got the call to say he won't be prosecuted and will be allowed to continue to abuse children, I can't live with that. All day I've been fighting the urges to take an overdose, thinking maybe tomorrow will be different, but reality is it won't be. I've now started what I intend to finish. I'm sorry to everyone I've failed, to the children I couldn't save from him, to the now adults I wasn't able to protect from him. I'm sorry. I hope one day they will forgive me. I'm sorry I tried my best, but I failed I'm the only person that has been jailed. trapped behind those bars my body still showing the scars I tried to make wrong, right but now I've lost that fight. Gypsy Jim Smith is he's name its him who should be to blame. Yet its me trapped in those chains its me that has those tear stains I'm the one who lives with memories Its me that was unable to please I've tried so hard to fight but something just isn't right. he raped & abused me for almost 8 years and yet today its him that cheers He will be sitting there now laughing while my heart is aching. He will be sitting there smiling whilst I sit here crying. He will continue to breath as I head towards death he will continue to live but I'm unable to forgive. Nobody heard my cries not even when I said my goodbyes everyone expecting me to move on nobody realised I was already gone. I'm not able to live seeing he's face the memories I can't erase I'm not able to live hearing he's voice so I don't have any other choice. I do love my family & friends but the pain inside is too much too contend. I don't know how to fight. so now I'm ready to flight. I just want to say "Jim you ruined my life" inside your still stabbing me with your knife. your took my virginity, you took my body now I'm empty, just a nobody. I don't know how else to deal with this I can't talk, its pointless nobody listens nobody believes you, nobody see's what it does to you so now I'm ready to say goodbye cause I can't take no more.