I'm sorry to be another person who registers just to express their problems and have someone talk to them. But I have no where else to turn. I've tried posting on craigslist and yahoo answers the past hour, and haven't gotten much in response. I just don't know what to do. As tears stream down my face I write this. I've suffered from depression since I was 14 years old, my mother left me as a baby and was raised by my dad, an only parent. To spare the whole back story, I will just say that the reason I'm here is because of my life situation right now. I'm 26 years old and still live at home, unable to shake the emotional problems I have. I've been working as a janitor the past 7 years or so, and it's a nocturnal lifestyle. I woke up at 10pm, everyone is asleep, I have no one to talk to or hang out with, I'm all alone. It's very lonely. Up until a few days ago, I had an amazing girlfriend who I dated for 2 years. On Monday night, she calls me up and tells me she cheated on me, and I broke it off. Later on she tells me that it was just a kiss, and I decided to talk to her and work things out. She promises she hasnt and wouldnt talk to this guy anymore. So the next day, she gets dropped off at my house to work out things, but she was dropped off by this guy she is now seeing. After she promised not to talk to him anymore and we would work things out. When she got here, she confessed to sleeping with him, and I told her to leave. Later that night I cooled off and I tried getting in touch with her, and when I did the following morning, I wanted to meet up and talk things out. Turns out she has been at this guys house since the day she first met him and cheated on me. Anyways, she gets here for the second time(last night/this morning), I was under the impression we would work out everything and get back together. At the end of the talk, she says she doesn't know what she wants, and that a part of her heart is now with this new guy whom she has known for 3 days. We continue to shed many tears with each other, holding each other, telling each other things we will miss about each other. Extremely painful. She continues to act kind of like my girlfriend again, holding my hand, even surprising me with a kiss while I was laying there with my eyes closed. We eventually fall asleep next to each other just like we had done every night for 2 years. Next thing I know, she is waking me up, telling me that she's not good for me and that I need to find someone better. And proceeds to go back to this guys house. I've never been so confused in my life. She has chosen someone she has known for 3 days over someone she shared 2 good years with, all our memories, everything. This is just the straw that broke the camels back. I've always hated myself, hated who I am. I'm a loser who still lives at home and has many emotional problems that I cannot get help for. I struggle with trust and mother issues, being abandoned by your mother is a huge thing for a child and person to cope with. Anxiety issues, self hatred, depression, when will it end?