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I'm sorry

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Kezzie, Apr 5, 2013.

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  1. Kezzie

    Kezzie Well-Known Member

    I can't hold on any longer. I just can't do it. I'm so sorry
  2. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Kezzie, as your nana and your olivia to help you to hang on. Please do not leave us. Please !! Please. Ask them to help.

    Normally I would ask someone to call a help/ crisis line. But do not think you will do that. Of course I, with all my heart, wish you could. I wish you could find a way to reach out irl. But I think you have been too hurt to try again. <3 <3 <3 So if you cannot reach out irl for anyone to help, please please ask Nana and Olivia to help you.

    Please dont go through with anything that will take your life. There may be someone waiting irl for their arms ready to hold you and help you. And I know you realize you mean a lot to people here. myself included.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 5, 2013
  3. Much afraid

    Much afraid Well-Known Member

    Kezzie you don't need to apologize. You are doing amazingly hard things. You can do them in your time when YOU are ready.

    What's going on my friend? What happened today?

    Flowers is right, ask your Nana and Olivia to help you hold on. Neither one wants you to miss the love you've yet to enjoy in this life. They want you to have mountains of joy here. What would your loving Nana say to you if she were here and you two were talking honestly about how you feel? I'm sure she would be very sad that you've experienced so much heartache and she would be looking (and maybe praying?) for you to have happiness; freedom from all the emotions and depression; she would hold you gently, wish for calm and peace to be able to rest; and she would reassure you as she held you tight that everything was going to get better. It will all be alright.

    She would want you to be able to see little things of beauty all around you. To see all the people who know and love you, and those who are getting to know you and love you and those you have yet to encounter.

    Talk to her. Write her a letter. Tell her all about all of it. You won't shock her. She won't judge you. She loves you.

    Hang in there dear one. Let us know how you are. I'm thinking about you and I care what you do and how you feel. The sadness seems unbearable but you can push through it. You really can. You are so much stronger than you believe right now. You are precious and destined for wonderful things to come your way. ♥♥♥
  4. mynameisbrian

    mynameisbrian Active Member

    You've been through so much, Kezzie. I can't imagine how hard it is for you...and I know you can't see it right now, I know it sounds impossible, but there's hope. You haven't found it or realized it's there, but it's there. Please be patient with yourself...please hold on.

    Don't be sorry. You don't need to apologize to us. We only hope you're still there. You've touched us. People care about you. You're not alone. The reasons to stay will come to you in time, and there are plenty.

    Please be OK, Kezzie.
  5. Kezzie

    Kezzie Well-Known Member

    I'm still here. I've been up all night trying to gather the courage to finally end it but so far I'm too scared, too weak. Its so hard, so painful to keep going. I literally have nothing and it hurts so much to realise that. I'm literally holding on by my fingertips. I'm trying so hard but I just cannot do it anymore. I just cannot live this life any longer. I really am sorry
  6. Jainey

    Jainey Active Member

    Kezzie, I'm with you on this one. Feel so despondent and scared. Hitting rock bottom fast. Anything happened or just the way you are feeling. Mine is .....
  7. Jainey

    Jainey Active Member

    I've been awake it seems for an eternity. I only sleep in very short bursts, when my body is so physically tired. I'm on strong sleepers but they do nothing, too much adrenaline pumping through.....
  8. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Kezzie, now is the time to reach out for some professional help. Do not go through this alone.
  9. Much afraid

    Much afraid Well-Known Member

    Kezzie, Butterfly is right ~ it's time for irl help. It means a lot that you have not been able to do this. It means there are other solutions that will keep you here. You need someone irl to help you through this. To walk by your side and help, support and reassure you.

    Reverse roles for a moment. If I were at my wits ends and ready, where would you have me turn? Who would you suggest I seek to help me? ♥♥♥
  10. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Kezzie, it is not fear or weakness that stops you,I suspect it is the knowledge that things can get better. You are doing the right thing talking here, and I hope you will post more.
  11. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    Please hang on out there and stay with us, just keep fighting with how you are feeling x
    stay strong
  12. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    If you need to chat anytime just PM me okay, I am here all day and night
  13. Kezzie

    Kezzie Well-Known Member

    I held on one more day, I've tried so hard today to think of reasons to stay and not leave the world but I have none. I cannot go on feeling like this. Nowhere to turn, no one to talk to, no one to care. I can't do it. I just can't. Its too painful. Its too hard. I'm sorry
  14. Much afraid

    Much afraid Well-Known Member

    I know how hard it is and you have the double whammy of grief and sadness/depression. My worst depression hit me when my mum died. I didn't know there was anything to be done except push through that and continue to sink deeper and deeper into my abyss. Obviously we were extremely close. Any way someone I consider a dear friend asked if I'd considered a grief counseling group. I had not but said okay. It helped a lot because I was meeting with people who'd recently (and not so recently) lost someone dear. Maybe there's something like that near you? Maybe if you could feel free to talk and cry and see people face to face about your desperate feeling of grief things would lighten a little. Could /would you try to check that out? ♥♥♥
  15. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    <3 You do deserve help. You deserve to live. You will have lots of support here from people who will hold you up as you reach out to find out what is available where you live. Grief counselling group and individual is a very good idea.

    The thing is, even though it feels like we may die if we reach out and are hurt, we are slowly wasting away by not reaching out. Its important, Kezzie. You have our support in reaching out for help. You really do <3
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 7, 2013
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