**I'm sorry for being who I am, sorry for being such a bitch to people(I know it's a defese mechanism). **I'm sorry to those who have taken my words out of context and have gotten upset over things that I have said. **I'm sorry for breathing, sorry for living, sorry for wasting up space on this planet. **I'm sorry for ever speaking my opinion b/c it's gotten me nothing but a broken heart and a head full of regret. It's gotten me nothing but pain. **I'm sorry for the friends that i have hurt along the way to my discovery. A discovery of what you may ask..well, the discovery of finding out my true purpose. I was born to breathe and now I was born to die. I don't deserve a life when people are out there dying and actually want to live. **I'm sorry that few people feel I deserve love and deserve to live. I'm sorry that my lies have decieved you into believing that. **I have deserved every bit of pain I have recieved over the course of my life. **I have deserved every heartache, every negative bit that has happened in my life i have caused and deserved. **I deserved to get raped(i put myself in that position so don't say otherwise). I deserved to get thrown up against walls and told I was nothing. **I deserved to have my mother beat me down with her words. After all, I was and am her mistake. The day I was concieved I know a part of her died with the realization that she had me to deal with. I deserved her words, her hate, her viciousness, I still deserve it because I am the nothing that she said I would be. **She told me once I would never commit suicide b/c I wasn't strong enough. I will prove that theory wrong, when I will not say and how I will not say but eventually it will happen. This is NOT a cry for help, this is me venting and letting people know that I'm not okay. The fake smiles, and the laughs a facade as the real Kelly is barely ever seen. Few people hve seen that mask come off and the tears come. If Im on skype and i feel that kelly coming out i mute teh call or simply hang up. **I'm sorry. That's all I can say. Sorry for being me..sorry for living such a lie for so many years. Sorry that most of you will never know the real me.