But I have to go. I have planned the date I will be going through with my plans. I can't tell you when in case someone would stop me. If there is any way this pain could ease, maybe I'd stay... but it hasn't eased... I have given it enough time to leave me, and it won't. New memories have surfaced. Bad memories... I can't explain well right now. When I was young... I tried to pretend it was evil witches doing it to me...evil evil witches... now I am remembering more and more. I can't handle this anymore. I think that my chosen date is still going ahead. This is far too hard to carry anymore. I think socrates was right when he said that Death may be the greatest of all human blessings.... I know why... because life sucks! I have some time before my chosen date... and I have decided to talk it through with my counselor... but I don't think I'm going to change my mind... this is too big for me. I can't deal with it.