Im sorry

Im sorry for being such a shit friend.

Im sorry for being a horrible person.

Im sorry for making it seem like i dont care.

Im sorry for existing

But most of all im sorry to everyone who feels they have to talk to me.

 

-You are not a shit friend. There's no such thing, because I'm sure your friends like you for who you are.
-You are not a horrible person. A horrible person doesn't admit they're horrible.
-You don't have to care about everything, sweetheart.
-Don't apologize for your existence, because you have every right to live.
-We talk to you because we love you, and care for you!
Please Sweetheart,
call the suicide hotline.

 

You're not a bad friend or a horrible person. You do care, and that's always been obvious to me.

I'm glad you exist, and I don't talk to you because I feel like I have to; when I talk to someone, it's because I WANT to. And I know I'm not the only one.

 

Im an asshole and im paranoid and i seem to hurt everyone around me. I get very angry very quickly. I dont mean to but when i see things that just dont seem right or i think people are attacking me i react instantly and not in the most conucive manner. I cant help myself.

 

I know you get angry fast, and you tend to react. But that doesn't make you an asshole.

Have you tried walking away from the computer for a while when you get so angry, to keep yourself from reacting instantly? Sometimes a few minutes is all it takes to calm down, even just a little. Or vent, get in touch with someone who will listen and let it out?

 

Wayne I've done an assertiveness training course and am also learning CBT because I was like that too....
I'm getting the hang of it now but have a way to go yet...
maybe some of that could help you too with the anger thing..
I used to go from passive to aggresive..now I'm trying for assertive..

 

Ive tried that but CBT doesnt work for me.

I tried anger management but i got thrown off the course for punching the instructor.

My psychiatrist just wants me sectioned because i also punched him too

 

Do you know of anything that helps to calm you down before you get to that point?

 

hmy: :unsure: :hug:

maybe a new psych?????

 

Or maybe hospital isn't a bad idea at the moment.

 

yeah i can normally calm myself down eventually.

I have a new psych now

Id rather be in prison than hospital

 

I've enjoyed reading your posts. I don't think you're excessively angry.

I can completely understand about your psych. Even though they're only trying to help, sometimes it just pisses you off.

 

Wow someone likes reading my posts thats a first :lol:

thanks

 

I was actually listening to a tetris remix when I first saw your avatar

 

Would you rather keep repeating the same patterns over and over again then being in hospital?

 

you misunderstand me, ive been to hospital several times, it does nothing for anyone but fill you full of drugs. Yeah you might be safe but the psych and nurses arent really known for their compassion.

Speaking of repeating patterns, giving people the same advice over and over and over again isnt helpful. Hospital might have helped you but dont assume it helps everyone.

 

When one is in crisis, is the aim not to do exactly that? - Be safe.

I did not assume anything. As per my above statement when someone is in crisis, the first thing to do in ensure their safety. When you do not have the support around you to do so, hospital should be an option.

Are you saying i have personally been giving out the same advice over and over again?

 

Im sorry its just an observation from when you posted on this thread and another one just before therefore i apologise.

Yes hospital should be an option but not for me. i refuse to go in voluntary because when i try and leave they make it compulsory and section me.

 

I'm guessing you are referring to Shelbi's thread, and i'd be suprised if you disagreed that she didn't need to be in hospital right now.

And do you think they might do that for a reason? I don't know about where you live, but here the resources are very, very minimal and they don't put you in a ward unless it is absolutely required.

Anyway, i obviously am unaware of your situation and you are not open to suggestions right now.

All the best.