I'm sorry

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GS9, Jun 24, 2010.

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  1. GS9

    GS9 General

    im sorry to everyone on this site,
    i quit alcohol, weed, and all the drugs i used to numb the pain

    i just feel weak,
    i was never good enough as a kid
    and will never be good enough....

    i feel like im worthless and a waste of a life
    i have no goals or dreams because i feel like i will fail at everything...
    everyone in my family hates me, they always want me to fail
    they never supported me

    they always speak ill of me
    my own uncle sent me to hell knowing

    humans are the cruelest every day i wish that something happens
    and rather im in critical condition or dead..

    i made a oath not to do suicide
    but im sooo tired of this life with no love and support
    i just want to die and rest in peace
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Chad, Do you have any close friends?? Someone you can talk to about your situation..How old are you?? Can you move out so you have some peace and quiet??Do you see a therapist?? They can help sort out these thoughts..They can also teach you coping skills..I hope you stick to your oath..Suicide is not the answer.. There are many paths to follow..Some positive and some negative.,.You need to find a positive path.. Maybe something you enjoy, or even just a walk when you are down..Take Care!!
  3. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    Hi Chad..

    Its great that you have quit weed,drugs and alcohol.. thats a huge achievement!
    Your not worthless.. or a waste of a life.. your a human being who is going through a really tough time at the moment.. :hug:
    I can tell from the fact you have given up all of those things.. that inside of you is a strong willed person.. grab hold of that inner strength to help yourself pull through this.. there are people who do care about you.. including us..

    As Stranger1 asked.. do you have anyone you can talk to about this.. family member or a friend? The samaritans number should be in my sig..

    We are here for you.. take care x
  4. GS9

    GS9 General

    i lost all of them, i have no more friends, im 19yrs old, nope, used to see a therapist when my family was together,i know i just feel like im a zombie, no soul just walking the earth with a hollow shell

    well im the "black sheep" of the family alot for some reason like to step on me
    and my dad calling me and giving me "advice" makes me mad cause he is the reason im stuck in a DEEP WATER

    My birth day is coming up, and its not a day i celebrate and since im hitting 20 one of my siblings have been pressuring me ALOT she's always made fun of the fact that i barely date

    But I had a stalker who ruined my life(she started my downward spiral),
    It's amazing how much a lieing crazy person can do

    I'm just very stressed cause im getting older,
    im lonely,

    (im sorry if i go off topic, Last year i suffered a major concussion didnt go to the hospital)
    My memory is fuzzy
    I lost the able to dream
    i lost the sense of 'being alive'
    made my insomnia worse, since i dont dream whats the point of sleeping?

    Im just stressed out about everything

    In my life i have to worry about whats to happen tomorrow..

    I know i wont 'kill' myself but i wish to die and be at peace...

    I just dont know, i feel like pulling my hair out
    Edit: i feel like im losing my mind
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 27, 2010
  5. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    Hey Chad..

    There is so much support out there.. if you seek it..Coming here is a great start though :hug:
    Can you go to your doctors and explain how your feeling?I mention this alot to people.. but only because it is one of the main reasons why i am alive today.. If you can.. mention the concussion you suffered.. you never know.. it could be playing a role in how your low your feeling right now..

    I find posting helps me feel less lonely..
    Have you tried the chat room on the site too?

    By the way im 22.. and often feel like im too old for anything to change.. but i have to keep reminding myself.. as do you.. - that even though we feel old .. the fact is we arent.. I havent many friends either.. but i have SF .. and there are tons of people here just like us that we can talk to..

    Take care.. and message me anytime x
  6. GS9

    GS9 General

    for the moment im putting my health on hold due to a event that will happen tomorrow...

    my car will be taken from me

    and im just trying to keep professional structure when they come to take the car, BTW 6 months hidding from the tow man and a law firm called me and i gave up the location of the car and the time and date that i would like for them to take it from me :sad:

    so right now i just want to hit the pause button and spend these last few hours with my car...

    Thank you mandyj101
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 2, 2010
  7. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    It sounds like a lot of people are unkind to you. Maybe they are jealous. YOu might be a much greater person than you know,but everyone seems to want to keep you down. Don't join them and hurt yourself. You say so many things about yourself that seem negative. But what about the strength and courage it has taken you to go on. So many would not have the strength you do. If you can harness that and point it towards a goal you could do anything. I'll say a prayer for you and I hope you do too.

    Your hard on yourself maybe because the people around you have handed you their pain . Instread of bearing it they gave it to you. It is usually the best people who get treated the worst. I KNOW you are a good and valuable person. YOU know it too deep down. Get up and show them they are wrong. Then they will have to look at themselves instead of hurting you to feel better.

    People can be rough and hurtful as you say ,but there are more good ones. Look at yourself, you are a good person. There are many like you. We here will help you and care. I think you are very brave!!!! We all want to help becuase you are worth it , a thousand time over!!!!

    Write if you like,

  8. jstone3380

    jstone3380 Member

    People have put me down and I have seen the doc and he confirmed I am a manic depresive, I guess the shit I have had to deal with over the years (My father sexuley abusing my as a child) is the worsed one. As I said there is always light at the end of the tunnel even at the most darkest moments in our lives. Do like I did ak I amit when I lost my job that sent me down hill again but I bounced back with the help of getting a new job which I own a big favor to one of my frends with that but to prove people wrong who used to put me down I when and got a BSc (Hons) degree to prove every one wrong who said I was a failure and usless. Set your self a goal in life and work towords it I am not saying go back to school like I did but sent some goal and when you reach it you will feel like you are on the top of the world. I know some people can say I am simpplyfying matters but once you have reach a goal set another one and then another and at each stage say your self when you reach it I have done it and prove to every one that has ever put you down that you can acchove a mesurable goal. Not sure of this is just a diatribe or not but I found setting goal for my self works.:blink:
  9. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hope you are well.
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