I'm sorry

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by KatyKate, Oct 7, 2010.

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  1. KatyKate

    KatyKate Antiquities Friend

    To all the great people who were in the chat room on Monday evening when I became a monster, a monster which I do not recognise...I sincerely aplologise. I know I should have left the chat room when I became tooo drunk...but I was at the stage where I didn't know what I was saying or doing. Thats no exscuse I know for upsetting so many of you....I love you all, and without you some of my darkest have turned into sunlight.
    I am so ashamed of my actions that I am scared to come back into the chat room...but I promise it will never happen again...the distress I was feeling wass due to the appeal hearing I had to attend the following with regards dismissal from my job due to a series of false and untrue allegations made by a Service User I supported. I lost my appeal guys....and now am unemployed. the appeal hearing was hell, but now the worst is over and I have to move on, and I will in time, hopefully within a very short time..but I have to get over the loss of a job that was my life so I am going to need support to help overcome my feelings of worthlessness and failure. I want you all to know that I am not the person I turned into on Monday night...I do not drink on regular basis and never to that extent...so that was a very hard lesson learned...I don't want to lose you all. I hope you can all forgive me for being such a horrible bitch that night (but as I say I cannot remember anything I said so I hope you understand it wasn't meant...whatever I said was actually how I felt about myself, I loathed myself that night...not any of you. I hope that I can return to the chatroom at some point and continue to enjoy the relationships I have already built with many of you...I miss the laughs and the feeling of belonging to a very special group of great people. I love you all very much. :i'm sorry: :sf::blub::missyou: Kate xxxxxx
  2. kote

    kote Account Closed

    wow it takes some strength to say that, to reflect and admit your faults if there were any.
    dont worry we are all here for the same reason and all know how far down that hole goes, dont worry we are still here to help you out!!!
    no matter what you race, religion, politics or anything.......you are never judged here. here is a safe place for you and you are always welcome back. especially now you must feel terrible. i wish you the best of luck and hope you can take some time to rest and relax.
    take care and take it easy.
  3. justmeonlyme

    justmeonlyme Long Time SFer Staff Alumni

    hay kate
    i wasnt there monday night so yea but i just wanted to say im sorry about the appeal :hug:
    and im sure the people who where in chat will understand drinking changes how we act and so on
    :hug: :wub:
    i hope you are ok im always here if you needed talk!!
  4. KatyKate

    KatyKate Antiquities Friend

    Thank you to Emma (WUB) and Neantherdal for replying to my thread. It was a heartfelt thread that I have posted and I appreciate that I am not being viewed as someone who intentionally sets out to upset and hurt other people...I would never do that. I keep hovering over entering into the chatroom, but something is stopping me...I still feel so much shame...I hate myself at the moment for doing what I did, but I also feel so very alone. I will find the strength I'm sure to come back to you all soon...well at least I hope I do :love:
  5. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    Kate hun, I am sorry to hear about you losing your job and I don't think anyone hates you. Yes you got out of hand, but everyone has their moments, and making this thread was a brave move. I forgive you and hope to see you in chat soon.

    Take care :hug: xx
  6. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    We've all had nights where everything goes out of control, just go back to chat and put it behind you :hug:
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