I'm Sorry...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by absolution, Feb 12, 2011.

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  1. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    ...to keep posting. I know I don't really deserve support so I understand if I don't get a response to this.

    I just can't breathe. Its like a huge weight on my chest. That's how much I miss her and how much I blame myself for what has happened.

    I keep having flashbacks and when I'm not having them I'm thinking about her and how much I hurt her. And how much I hate myself for it. I wont ever forgive myself.

    I'm breaking..

    I'm sorry..
  2. black orchid

    black orchid Well-Known Member

    It sounds so harsh Sam and i don't mean it to be, but it was her own choice, she decided to do what she has done.

    Don't blame yourself :hug:
  3. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    If we dont forgive ourselves and others, all we will do is harbour it forever.
    Please try to do both, take the higher ground, and love yourself for doing it.
    Regards Pete
  4. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    What if i helped that along? :cry: Sorry my head is just all fucked up.

    I'm trying. But i dont think i can because I know she wont forgive me.. :(
  5. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    you do deserve support,you both do,but blaming yourself for things wont allow you both to move forward,you need to sit down with krista and talk things through just you and her
    you are both going to have to forgive each other for what has happened so you can keep going forwards
  6. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    She's not going to want to talk to me tho..
  7. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    are you kidding ?i bet she cant wait to talk with you ,your missing her just like shes missing you im sure xx
  8. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    what if she blames me too? :/
  9. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    she wont blame you.just like your doing to yourself she will blame herself you just need to sit down together and talk about everything that has happened so you can both see its no ones fault
  10. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

  11. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    thanks hollowvoice. I hope you are right :hug:

    Ruikia :hug: :wub:
  12. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    Can't stop planning..I don't know whats wrong with me........ :blub:

    It just hurts.. to much.. and I'm panicking..

  13. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

  14. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    :hug: thanks hunni.

    I see my therapist in 2 hours and I'm scared.. I'm scared that it will all spill out and she will section me... I don't want that to happen but I badly need to vent to her.. :s I dunno what to do...
  15. Stormrider

    Stormrider Well-Known Member

    I have no experience with therapists, but i think it's best to be honest and tell everything about how you feel.
    They can't help you if you don't say everything that's on your mind.

    Still if you really don't feel right about talking in therapy then the forums will still be here to talk about anything.

    Whatever you do, don't bottle up your feeling inside that's never good.
  16. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    I want to tell her everything.. I'm just scared she will make me go to the hospital :(

    I have been trying to vent on here and I just can't seem to find the right words so I end up canceling the thread before posting it..
  17. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    hi J you have to tell your therapist everything its the best way,once you start talking you wont want to stop youll be ok just talk nice and calmly show her your in control now and yes you need help.

    and good luck (((hugs)))
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 14, 2011
  18. Nataria

    Nataria Well-Known Member

    *hugs* Jaded
    I belive it's important to be as honest to your therapist as possible as it will then become much easier to help you
    Though i do understand your concern about hospitalization I do think it's worth it to talk to her, as the others say, if it's impossible we're here on the forum to listen and support *hugs*
  19. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    *hugs* thanks hunni. It went okayish. I told her that J*** is planning on coming to town tomorrow. (one of my abusers) and he wants to see me. We came up with a plan so hopefully he wont bother me..

    I told her pretty much everything *hugs* thanks hun
  20. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    well done you
    i hope your plan goes well

    and see no hospital xx
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