Im Speaking Out About My Abuse and Rape from Alex

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Darkdragon44, Dec 13, 2011.

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  1. Darkdragon44

    Darkdragon44 Well-Known Member

    Well i suppose im being a baby when i cry over my nightmares and my friends said what happened to me wanst all that bad...
    but i think they do not understand the pain that comes after this attack of that kind of nature.
    my nightmares involve me in my house wearing a black blouse and blue skirt like i was during my attack, and daniel and my sister in the house as they were in the attack but daniel was in the basement sleeping and my sister sleeping outside in a tent and i was trying to go back to sleep after being shaken by the phone
    around eleven thirty, my window appears to be left open when i went to get water, and his voice sounds "hey sweet heart." he greets me and pushes be onto my bed.
    "we are going to have fun tonight" he smiles getting on top of me tugging at my clothes his hand over my mouth so i cant scream for help his eyes dead as night.
    "you were great in bed,when we dated do you must be good now." she said unbuttoning my shirt
    "baby why arnt you following my lead" i laid there passively while he violated me
    "just like old times eh? Mabelle." he said as he beat me and daniel heard me let out a small scream
    "looks like this is my time to leave, Welcome back to my life sweetheart." she said jumping off my bed and opening the window,
    "tell anyone and i do it to you again." he said just as daniel came up
    and thats where i wake up...
    Now for flashbacks

    every time the phone rings it brings me back to that night
    every time daniel called or remember a time when... me sweet heart i start to cry
    every time a male calls my name it triggers my beatings
    everytime a male gets close to me i shy away.

    im pissed,saddened depressed and confused over this
    that is all
    NOTE: This was before daniel passed away...
  2. That one guy

    That one guy Member

    You truly are a brave person for posting this. words cant express the sdness i feel that that happened to you or that your friend past away :(

    But hugs can comes close! *hugs!*
  3. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist


    Definitely nothing to be ashamed about, crying is good - it lets some of your emotions about the event out. I am sorry that you had to experience that violation and that you continue to re-experience it through your nightmares and flashbacks.

    I do understand. I hope you are in therapy or can work on this some with a trusted professional, it will help.

    Here if you ever need, take care of yourself.
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