I had myself convinced that I was going to end it by July. And today being July 1st I'm not sure if I can overcome that in my mind. I know I'm safe here at work and won't do anything but once I get home and if I'm left alone which is very likely I know I'm going to end up trying especially if my internet gets shut off today. The only kindof support I have is online. All those around me at home just trigger and in a way encourage me. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I keep going over possible scenarios in my head and I can't seem to overlook them. I'm going to try and fight it the best I can but I'm not sure if I have the strength left in me to fully fight off what today might bring.