I apologise for being away and worrying people. I've not been good. Attempt aside and everything else, I'm still alive. The shrink who's now completed his assessment says I likely won't improve, the pills I take, the psychotherapy, CBT and counselling won't help also. Always good to know, I'm fundamentally lost now. My 'friends' warned a person I liked that I was an abhorrent human being, who's ruin her life. So, yet again, I'm alone without hope, surrounded by feckless Machiavellian individuals who seem intent on making my life a miserable experience till I finally pass. This insults, the interference in my life, all of this has pushed me to the edge finally, I really can't see how I can now get worse now. I appreciate all the messages on an older post wishing me well, I'm sorry I went off the rails, didn't expect to still be here, and if it weren't for a freak issue of timing, I wouldn't. I'm not getting better, this saddens me, I am worried I can't help others if I am this bad. So I apologise if my advice is lacking, or lacks heart. I'm struggling now, so I'll try, but bare with me.