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I'm still living

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by carebear32, Jul 21, 2012.

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  1. carebear32

    carebear32 Well-Known Member

    I was living on my own for six months from August - March when I lost the urge to want to live anymore and I took an o.d of medication that had been prescribed for me by my psychiatrist. I was put in hospital for two weeks until the suicide thoughts had subsided. Technically that hasn't lasted long as I ran out of my medications and can not afford to get anymore, since my medical aid has also run out. The thoughts are still there, in fact I almost o.ded again last week.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Im sorry you got so low hun I do hope you talk to your doctor soon let your doc know you are still in very bad way hugs
  3. carebear32

    carebear32 Well-Known Member

    I've certainly spoken to my therapist about it, although she and I have been going through a rough patch lately. As stupid as this sounds, I'm afraid of my therapist and of lately she doesn't seem to be listening to me. She comes to her own conclusions,despite me telling her the way I see things. Still wanting to die right at this moment.
  4. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    I guess everybody wants to die, everyone suicidal that is. Wish it was different. Kinda da strange.
  5. kote

    kote Account Closed

    i been in that position with my dr. he misunderstood what i was explaining could be a problem as an actual problem. well we are both speaking different languages but i got very pissed off with him ( he is a wonderful geneius of a dr, otherwise ) so didnt deserve it. but it was how i felt and for trust he needed to know. he appologised and the next visit he was back to his jolly self. over the years though a my sickness has mutated i feel he doesnt find me an easy fix so just listens and hands out the meds and now and again we change something.

    its important that you trust your therapist!!! thats the no.1 care giver and no.1 source of help. if you cant trust them you can always see what another is like somewhere else. i did that and didnt like them that much. felt like meat on a conveyor belt. but always try ways of finding what works for you best!!!

    good luck and i hope you feel well soon!!!
  6. carebear32

    carebear32 Well-Known Member

    This is just not my lucky day. I attempted to get run over twice today and both times the car stopped. Why can't they just do me a favour and put me out of my misery?
  7. kote

    kote Account Closed

    i can see where you are at and how you are feeling.

    whenever i got that way i was always better off in bed than dead. in bed i could relax, watch tv, read a good book, sleep 24/7 and let the world go by without me.

    now it took time but after a while the urgent suicidal feeling went away.

    please just relax and step back a bit. give it some time and rest in bed. little by little you will get stronger and days will be much easier.

    please take care!!!
  8. LillMy8989

    LillMy8989 Well-Known Member

    Ye, Im still alive (because im a coward), why am I still unhappy through these all meds?
    But one thing is positive (dont laugh) I saw mary (maria) holding both hands on her heart and was talking to through me and it were magic
  9. carebear32

    carebear32 Well-Known Member

    How do I block out my stay in hospital? For a while now my mind keeps reliving the two weeks I spent in the hospital in March. It's kind of like I'm trying to make sense of it or recall exactly what happened. It seems really stupid to me.
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