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I'm struggling because.....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Raphael1, May 31, 2010.

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  1. Raphael1

    Raphael1 Well-Known Member

    The first problem is that I think I'm ugly. This makes life very difficult for starters. I see so many beautiful people and it makes me feel so inferior. As a result I lack confidence. This is a major problem for me. The other reason I lack confidence is partly because I feel stupid. I feel almost as if everyone is more intelligent than me. which is another major problem. The other problem is that I love music so much but I am unable to play it live or sing it or make albums to the degree where I can make a living out of it. I lack the musical talent. I hate working mundane jobs which is the only ones I can get. As a result another problem is money. I just don't have enough of it to live comfortably. Only just enough to survive. The other problem is loneliness. I feel so incredibly alone and can find no friends. All this pushes me to the edge every day. I wake up and life is waiting there. I'm confined to my mothers place because of my financial situation. I just don't know what to do and I can find nothing to look forward to. I also wish I had a different personality and character. I wish I was more social. I just feel helpless and useless. And I feel like I'm completely ignored. How should I deal with all this.
    what's the best thing I can do for this kind of situation. I feel suicide is too cruel an act for my family. And I'm not sure there is an afterlife so I figure it's best to enjoy life while living. But how can I enjoy life when it feels like hell.
  2. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    I've had people say that I'm an attractive guy and guess what?

    Because of my disease, finding a significant other seems remote. You would rather have what you've got than live with my disease. It'd make me envy you.

    And you can develop musical skills even if you can't make a career out of it. Few people can have careers as entertainers, but anyone (if they tried) can do performances on the side.
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Raphael,
    It sounds like you are really down on yourself..Can't you make friends with some of your coworkers?? Maybe go out after work and have a couple of drinks.. Just to help you regain some confidence in your self..Are there any groups for depression where you live?? Maybe find a hobby where you have interaction with other people..Or take a course in music so you find like minded people you can relate to..Theres always options you just need to reach out and find them..Take care!!
  4. Raphael1

    Raphael1 Well-Known Member

    Ldub I know it must be very difficult. I have no experience of your disease so I can't really relate. All I know is that it must be a terrible burden for you. I'm so sorry. I don't know if you would find my situation much better or envy it. I know I shouldn't give up on my music really but I'm finding it really hard to get motivated.

    Stranger1 I know it sounds bad. I feel a lot of strain from all this. but I try and keep a positive attitude and keep myself together somehow. I don't have a job so I haven't got co-workers. I have one friend that I see but he is more like an acquaintance to hang out with. I've had a couple of drinks with him. He's in a similar situation to me. Thanks for the advice.
  5. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    first, life is not about feelings, but by knowing whom you are as an individual. You are special and you have been given a chance to live just as you are. imagine if you are dead. whom could i be conversing with now? YOu may feel helpless but know that i care, atleast i've got to know about you. You are glad that you have a parent (your mum) to stick with. cheer up and when things get better, you can move to your own apartment, but at the moment, be grateful that i know you and that you have your mum. so you have 2 friends.
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