I'm stuck.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by AAA3330, Jul 2, 2015.

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  1. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    I'm stuck in such a bad place, my mind is and I don't know what I'm going to do. My mental state is so messed up and I just want out. I want it to go away. I always feel tortured and like I'm being punished. It would have been so much better if I would have just died than to have to feel the way that I do. If I just wouldn't have gotten stressed out the way that I did a few years ago, I probably would have been fine, but as it is, I always feel like the whole world is crashing in on me. I always feel like I'm drowning. When I go places, it always seems like everyone else is ok and I can't understand why I'm not. I'm so overwhelmed and feel so trapped. My psychiatrist gave me another antidepressant called Fetzima, but I'm pretty sure that it won't bring my mind back. Sometimes suicide is the only solution when a person is suffering the way that I do. I just wish that I had the courage and resources to be able to do it.
     
  2. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Keep talking here. Do you see a Therapist at all as not remember you mentioning seeing one.


    Sounds like me on most days looking at everyone else and wishing I had my normal life back before the mind blew on me.
     
  3. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    I don't see a therapist. I couldn't really afford it and it wouldn't help me anyway. I did see one for a while, but it didn't help. My mind is gone and it seems that there is just nothing that they can do. I used to be really sharp, but I'm not anymore and it's just not coming back.
     
  4. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Yea know what youre talking about. I am seeing myself losing it slowly piece by piece before I am completely in my own other world. Its a one way train destination, no going back. I just keep seeing the Therapist because it keeps me motivated to try to live another week to talk to an unjudemental friend. Otherwise I would have been gone into the wind
     
  5. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry that you are having a hard time. It doesn't seem to matter what I do, my mind just won't return to normal. It's really sad because I had a really good mind and a good life.
     
  6. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    ditto. Good life is slipping by, do you have a friend IRL to chat with about it or a family member?
     
  7. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    I don't have any friends, but I talk to my dad about it. He doesn't really understand and there's nothing that he could do anyway.
     
  8. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Can't explain it to any of my family members as I can't explain it anyhow. it saddens me those days when I can't explain what's going on to anyone when I am lucid but those days are far in between, talking about it just saps the energy making it pointless for me to say it in real life do you have a dairy to write down your thoughts and reread them when you are able to?
     
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