im such a f@(king failure!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by John6491, Feb 22, 2007.

  1. John6491

    John6491 Well-Known Member

    Damn it!!! I'm such a failure!!! 3 hours ago I'm saying I will never cut again now I'm pissed off and wanting to cut my hand.... I can't do anything I say..... I'm a failure I'm worthless just FUCK!!! Why can't i do anything!!! I don't know what happened to get me in that good mood for a while but whatever it was just made me even worse now!!!
    i hate not being able to keep a stupid goal that I set just 3 fucking hours ago!!!!! I'm such a fucking failure I need to die and stop wasting peoples time by making goals I can even keep for a day!!!! I'm so useless I can't to anything right I'm never going to get better..... When I do I will fall back down even farther....
    I take 1 step forward and 2 back every day......
     
  2. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Hey, I think this is a good goal to not achieve, to not cut okay? Its alright, I can tell you that almost all of the time, I can't keep any goals either, not even the simplest ones, just today, I missed yet another class of calculus, and I swore to myself in the morning on the bus and last night that I would go to class this time and fuck, I missed it again! I mean by missed, I skipped it, why did I freaking skip it? Damn it all, I feel rotten myself.

    I can safely say that you aren't alone, I understand your frustration, I wish I knew more to say to help you feel better.

    I can also perfectly understand how you say you take a step forward and then two backwards, I've been in college for just about two years and haven't made a single friend, whereas freshmen there for a couple of weeks already have a whole group of friends to be happy around and whatnot, I'm so abnormal and a loser myself.

    I also hear that you are bullied in school no? I can feel for you there as well, god its so awful that bullying.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 22, 2007
  3. John6491

    John6491 Well-Known Member

    Yea I am bullied exept its the type where they just push you once and make you get hurt so I think its better than them messing with me all day and hell once I hurt myself most of the time they almost help me..... But that's me just being in normal state of denial
     
  4. asqy

    asqy Well-Known Member

    i dont think you are a failure. to quit cutting is really hard, and it is quite admirable to see you take such a goal! you were in a situation where normally you would cut afterwards, so you just did what came naturally to you. you may have slipped up and cut, but that doesn't make you a failure. its a habit! and as the saying goes, old habits die hard. just keep trying, even if you slip and go back. just start over with your goal. i know you can do it!
     
  5. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    Cutting is a long term habit that is hard to break.. no one ever said that breaking habits was easy. Slip ups are bound to happen. You have already taken a big big step just by saying that you want to stop... do it a little bit at a time. Its easier that way, and try not to be too down hearted if you slip up. Personally I dont know if its possible to 'just stop'. I know I couldn't... good luck with stopping cutting.

    TDM
     
  6. mike25

    mike25 Well-Known Member

    Hey, you're NOT a f@(king failure!!!!!! How do I know this? Because you're on this forum, and no one on this forum is a failure. Can I get a witness? Forget specific goals for now. You're just setting yourself up for failure. We're all emotionally vulnerable to a different degree on this forum, and the last thing some of us need is the pressure of attaining a goal. There's enough pressure from the outside world without us contributing to it. Go easy, just take each moment as it comes.

    nkrukato - I'm sorry you havn't made a decent friend. You are not abnormal - you are original. Those freshman are just keeping up appearances. Heaven forbid they might be seen alone and perceived as unpopular by their peers. How about joining a club or society? In my experience, you know a good one within a few minutes because the people are genuinely warm and friendly.
     
  7. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Baby steps friend, that is all I can say. Baby steps, instead of looking at 3 hours as a failure look at it as your first success. It is much more encouraging to do it that way.

    Me for instance, I want to learn how to socialize. But I am terrified of it. So whenever I can say "hi" or even have a small conversation with a complete stranger I look at it as a success.

    The point is look at it as success. Vow not to cut yourself for 4 hours next time. Then 10 hours then 16 then 24 then 166 and so on and so forth.
     
  8. kindtosnails

    kindtosnails Staff Alumni

    You are NOT a failure. It takes guts to make a goal like that and stopping is not something that's just going to happen overnight. Anyway, you're not a failure because you want to cut. Urges aren't just going to stop because you decide to try and stop. And set backs/slip ups happen. Best thing is just to get up, move on and try and learn from them. We're not going to give up on you so we won't let you give up on yourself. You're not wasting anyone's time, here or elsewhere, so try and put that out of your mind. you're doing your best, no one can ask for more than that. :hug:
     
  9. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Don't beat yourself up over the fact that you didn't succeed this time. Hey you went three hours. Now go 4, then 5. Maybe if you can set smaller increments of time, things will work out better. As Forgotten said, small steps.