i couldn't imagine a worse fuck up than me.I fuck up everything i try.I'm a fucking waste.i know theres gunna be someone whos going to say im not and i dont want to hear that right now.i try even a little thing like a tune up and you would think someone who spent 30grand on a automotive school and got streaght a's would be able to do it right.but not me not the fuck up that i am. I couldnt imagine anyone in the world would want someone like someone that fucks everyting up in their life.i wish i had at least a little bit of courage to kill myself.but ive fucked that up twice before and theres no reason to belive that i would do it right this time.i'd probably end up a fucking paraplegic or a vegtable,having to live the rest of my life like a fuck up i am.but thats what i deserve.i deserve to be a useless fuck so i wouldnt be able to fuck up nyone elses life.i'm fucking up my parents life staying here by making them pay to feed me and having me fuck up their cars.i cant belive theyve let a fuck up like me stay here this long.they must be stupid all im gunna do with my life is be a fuck up.ill get a job and fuck it up like before.and even if i find a girl that would waste her time on me i would fuck that up too.i'm sorry if i wasted any of your time by lating you read this. i should just delete this so noone has to read it.i should just go and not come back.i should just drive off and dissappear.no one would miss me.other than my mom because of her mother insticts. but no one else would miss me.my friends i barly ever talk to would just wonder and nothing else.Tabitha would just go one with her life.like she does now.im not in her life anymore.im not in anyones life. please god kill me.someone please kill me.i wish someone would just kill me,anyway i dont care just end my life cause if it was up to me i would fuck it up.the only thing i've done right in my life is decide that my life isnt worth living.but it took losing my reason to live(Tabitha) and fucking up so many things to come to that desecion.