I'm such a loser. Really, three years?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by topsail81, Apr 22, 2011.

  1. topsail81

    topsail81 Well-Known Member

    I was looking on another forum where my EX and I went too all the time and started going through all her old posts she made when we were together. (I was looking for a song and knew she knew it so I hoped she had posted somewhere).

    Anyways, I'm from Kentucky, live right outside Cincinnati and this girl I loved lived in St. John's Newfoundland Canada. To make a long story short, I moved up there and stayed for awhile. I was engaged and my life changed for the better. I had everything figured out and had the love of my life with me.

    I loved St. John's and the people there and everyday ws a great day because I just loved where I was.

    To make a longer story even shorter, we broke up............ three years ago. In 2008. I've dated a few people since then but nothing serious at all and find myself unable to even to even see myself dating again at this point. For how long it's been, I still find myself missing her. I love Canada and St.john's and miss that aswell. (It's not easy to travel when you have to work and are getting back in school). Anyway, I thought the initial suffering and pain with a break was a phase and it would end but, to this day, I still get sad about it. I don't miss her so much as the thought of her. And, St. John's.

    I mean really, how long does it take to get over something like that? I should not get upset about things of this nature this long away from when we broke up but, I can't help.

    It's starting to really bother me. Why can't I just stop? I know I'll never get engaged or married again but, this is ridiculous.

    I know no one knows me here, and, I don't write or talk about my sadness to anyone so this is a first. I guess I'd thought writing this down would help.

  2. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    Sometimes being able to see your thoughts organized in front of you can help

    That being said it sounds to me like you fell in love with the PLACE which can happen

    Have you thought about moving back? Wouldn't have to be right now but maybe something you can look forward to
  3. topsail81

    topsail81 Well-Known Member

    Yeah. Maybe it's that I don't care to live around here after I lived there. If that makes sense. It's just weird to think about something and that makes me sad. I've never been like that.

    I plan to move back, I guess I'm just impatient.

  4. black_rose_99

    black_rose_99 Well-Known Member

    It took me ten years and a change of country to get over my first love. That said, it took me very little time for some others. I think there's a load of different factors involved, and each case and each person is different. Try to avoid looking through things that remind you of her. Try to remember the bad stuff, not just the good - there's a reason you're not together anymore. You could try what I always wanted to do but did mentally instead - I wanted to write a letter to each of my exes, and then send them up in balloons over the ocean - like a symbolic goodbye - you could write a letter and burn it or something. I'm not sure, sorry if I'm not making sense. I hear you. xx
  5. AlienBeing

    AlienBeing Well-Known Member

    I never got over my first love at 18. I tried and tried. I dated guy after guy, got into relationships over and over again, but never married. I'm 47 now and still think about him every day. How's that for crazy?
  6. topsail81

    topsail81 Well-Known Member

    Not crazy, everyone has feelings. Sometimes it's just a very hard thing in life that's tough to overcome.

    Thanks black_rose_99.
  7. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    It's not crazy, but maybe you should either try to find out what his status is now and contact him just for coffee. lot of things start with a simple coffee but you can always use that as an excuse just in case you meet him and he is some bitter divorcee or something.

    Really, you ought to try and track him down - or do you already know were he is?

    I fell in love at that age but don't fancy joining Facebook to check things out and see if she is still around. If I thought about her every day I'd be tracking her down. I could not keep that in without turning up with flowers, chocolates, wine and the good manners to not bring the drugs on a first date.

    Its always worth taking a chance on love.

    Go for it.
  8. herenow

    herenow Well-Known Member

    Trust me, ten years after leaving some of my friends and moving away, I would still get upset over it and feel like I "loved" them, so 3 years is nothing...
  9. AlienBeing

    AlienBeing Well-Known Member

    It's a long, long, long story. How can I keep it short without misrepresentation? Hmm. Let's see. He was my Chemistry teacher. He was married with 2 kids. We were telepathic with each other, could talk without speaking and we fell in love. (No, we did not have a physical relationship.) He wanted to marry me after I got out of high school but it was against my morals and ethics to do that. He went on to become vice-principal and then principal, then retired. He still lives in the same house, still married. We heard about each other through other people for about 15 years after I left high school. I heard it took him 12 years to get over me from a friend of his. Sometimes I still think of looking him up just to say hi, afterall, he's an old man now, but I'm kind of ashamed of the mess I've made of my life, I guess.
  10. topsail81

    topsail81 Well-Known Member

    Meh, I'm going use this thread I started to rant when I feel down since I have nowhere else to do it.

    I don't know what;s wrong with. You ever have a time in your life that you thought was perfect and you really didn't want to be anywhere else in the world or in life? I do.

    I try so hard to "get over" a girl and a certain time in my life but, no matter what I'm doing I always compare whatever is happening to me good or bad to a certain time in my life.

    I literally don't know how to get over it. I have never been an emotional person really. Really haven't cried much in my life. Nothing has really bothered me until a certain time in my life ended and I had to move back to where I'm from.

    It's been three years. It's not just the girl. It's just the time I lived somewhere else and absolutly fell in love with everything around me and was content and happy and loved waking up and going to bed everyday.

    When that was taken from me, I lost it. But, that's for another time.

    I think for the first time in my life I'm having a hard time getting over something and it seems no matter what I do, I can't.

    I know that no one will understand this because I haven't explained every detail but I thik maybe writing out what I feel might help. I don't know.

    I don't ever ask for advice or look to someone for help so maybe just writing here will help I don't know.