im such an assh0le

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Summer.Rain, Feb 10, 2015.

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  1. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Today i spent the entire day helping one of my relatives to buy a car, i didnt had time to eat or drink, from 9 AM until 8PM i had 2 cups of ice tea and a slice of pizza.
    I had to talk, negotiate, and to drive for more then 100Km around the country.
    I had to spent time with strangers while we were waiting in line for the car license thing, listening to them talking about their life problems and nod...
    I came back home exhausted, when i parked the new\old car, everyone came to meet me with a huge smile, i tried to smile back, and take part in this little happy moment,
    my dad rushed to the driver seat and my mom and sister to the beak seats, i dont know why but i just exploded.
    I shouted at my dad to get out of the driving sea telling him that he knows nothing about how to operate this specific car, he silently moved to the passenger seat,
    I then entered the car to give them a ride around, and i was very aggressive, less then a min after we start driving i already started a fight with everyone.

    I fucken hate myself, i deserve to die!
     
  2. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    probably because tired and not eaten properly though right.
    just apologize or let some time pass

    or does rage occur often and/or at random?
     
  3. Johnny Messina

    Johnny Messina Well-Known Member

    I know the feeling... they probably understand what happened better than you, and it's not that big deal... Maybe it's stupid to say that but you've probably done worse things in last few days than this but for some reason you are blaming yourself over this.... it's not worth it... I had similar situation few days ago, some car in front of me was driving like 20 kmh, and there was no way to pass him, and after we finally arive at the front of the shop, I just pressed throtle hard, pass him and parked on only available place on the parking... after that I saw how sad I've made man who was like 75 years old, it ruined my day... Also, 5 years ago, my grandmother died, we lived in the same house my whole life... I was huge asshole to her few days before she had a stroke... I never think about it...
     
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