I'm sure I'm not the only one who hates B-Days.

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by TheBLA, May 27, 2011.

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  1. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Can't believe its already my B-Day tomorrow. I don't bet most depressed people enjoy their birthdays either. This is the day that I was born, the day that I wish had never happened (its funny, since I never felt this way prior to becoming depressed, lol). I think its more so that I was born premature, born very weak and at the brink of death and my dad took me to a hospital to save my life (when I wish he didn't).

    Not only that, but that I'm getting older, and realizing that how much I have utterly wasted my life and had so little done and accomplished and experienced compared to everybody else! I'm getting older, but not wiser!

    Some people will post on Facebook, wishing me a happy birthday when they really don't care (and I don't care in return when theirs comes around, lol, even though it hurts my feelings).

    Its funny, on one end, I don't want to have any attention to me at all, (I'm Mr. Low-Profile! You should have seen how many people cheered for me at high-school and college graduation (hint, just my family.) and yet I'll also feel bad if everyone ignores my birthday, anyone else have that, not only for birthdays, but for other events also?
     
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Oh yes rahul..
    ditto to all that!!

    I loathe, hate, loathe, hate my birthday!!

    but hey!! try to make the most of tomorrow ok..
    do something nice for yourself...
    I usually take myself to lunch and /or movie...

    what can you do for yourself to make it more bearable?

    Hope it's THE best birthday you've ever had..
     
  3. Green.Triceratops

    Green.Triceratops Account Closed

    I hate my birthday because it means people care about me and buy me stuff. Which is good but i wish they wouldnt because i'm not worth their time usually.
     
  4. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i struggle with birthdays, too
    i think about it being another year with not working
    and i miss my sister terribly
    and my mom, she passed away three years ago
    it's a very lonely time for me

    i hope you are able to treat yourself nicely for the day.

    happy birthday!
     
  5. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    I feel the exact same. I'm turning 21 in a little over a month and it's scaring the crap out of me. People make such a fuss over 21.. like it's supposed to be something great and an achievement with a huge party and all, but for me it just reminds me how old I am, how little I've done with my life and how I don't even have enough friends to warrant having any kind of party.

    I want people to wish me happy birthday to know that I am at least not being ignored/my existence isn't overlooked.. but at the same time, I hate fuss and attention on me. I kinda just wish birthdays didn't exist at all.
     
  6. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    I don't like the attention everyone seems to give me on my birthday. I feel like saying fuck off and leave me alone lol. I'm dreading my 18th in a couple of years....thats gonna be a big trigger.
     
  7. 6v6gt

    6v6gt New Member

    usually nobody except my parents and sister bugs me about my birthday, my few friends never remembers the date...

    One funny thing that happened a few years ago... i was cycling with a friend for about 2 hours, then i had a call on my cellphone.. it was my landlord wishing me happy birthday, so i said thank you very much! my friend was like uh what was that call for? i said, Oh nothing, just the landlord wishing me a happy birthday... he was like wtf?! its your birthday and you didn't even tell me?.. i just told him, "Oh do i have to remind you my birthday every year?"... little awkward moment..
     
  8. Caster

    Caster Well-Known Member

    I definitely dread my birthday....I'm turning 25 in a little less than a month. Over the past few years, my birthdays just remind me of how far behind I am in life. I'll be 25. I graduated from college when I was almost 24, and I still haven't found a job that requires use of college or my major. So I'm still just working a retail job and the older I get I feel more and more pressure from my parents to find a real job.

    I won't be telling anyone it's my birthday. Only my parents and sister will know.
     
  9. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Sorry for resurrecting this old thread. Ah, the same, old cycle is coming around again. I will be turning 25 on the 28th this time and still dreading my birthday as with several of my last birthdays ever since I became severely depressed and suicidal. I am feeling more depressed than usual because of this impending birthday. I feel its the absolutely, by-far worst day of my life and I just want to get it over with. I am turning a quarter of a century old, only 5 years left to age 30 and there are so many things I have missed out on. So many things, I have never done that everyone else my age or younger has done. Never had sex, never went to parties in college, never traveled abroad alone on adventure, never went to prom, never went clubbing, etc etc etc.

    My life has been extremely empty, such a fucking waste with no meaning. I really need to get the courage to take my life someday, why not on my birthday of all days?

    I feel like changing my birthday on Facebook and Skype if its possible so nobody will wish it on me. I want nobody to know about it. Why couldn't my dad have just ditched my 3lb, very-premature, very weak body into a ditch or open sewer in a slum of New Delhi where I was born and left me there to die, instead of saving my miserable, pathetic life by taking me to a hospital? He didn't know, he had no idea I would turn out like this, such a disappointment and failure. Hell, I didn't know I would turn out like this until it was too late.

    What an absolutely, terrible fucking day. The worst day ever.
     
  10. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    They are tough. Always have been for me as well.
     
  11. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I hate my birthday because no one calls or visits, even the ones who know about it don't give a shit. It just means another year wasted for me, when I could have done something with my life, and done nothing at all. So yeah, I really don't like when my birthday comes around. Just makes me more depressed than ever.
     
  12. BrinkOfExistence

    BrinkOfExistence Well-Known Member

    I wouldn't say i hate my birthday it just feels like any other day to me, but yeah it's quite upsetting when you know people know it's your birthday and they don't call or anything, yet when it's their birthday they expect you to go all out for them. Nein i don't think so.
     
  13. nolongerknow

    nolongerknow Active Member

    I have always hated (with a passion) the day of my 'Birthday". I just wish I didn't have one, because, fuck I never feel like celebrating my life. The last birthday party I had where 'friends' were invited I was 8. After that I utterly refused to have a 'party'.

    When I was 19 (about 3 years after I isolated myself from my real friends), my Mother organized a 'surprise party' for me. I walked in the door from work and saw about 12-15 people all happy to see me, I think they were trying to get me out of my 'slump'. All I did was give them a look of disdain and hatred for invading my personal space. I do look back on this and know in my heart that my Mother tried her best and I know these people showed up because they cared about me, but I just wanted to be alone (as always).

    A couple years later, I had made friends with a guy who (also) had Paranoid Schizophrenia, though for some reason he was able to be still social and had no problems being around people (unlike me). We were basically brothers, spent pretty much everyday together. Well, on the morning of my 21st birthday my Mother must have told him it was my Birthday - again she had only good in her heart, she just wanted someone to wish me a "happy Birthday" (lol Oxymoron)

    This friend at some stage that day said "guess what day it is today, bro"
    I said "umm Sunday"
    Then he was like "it's your Birthday dude, Happy Birthday"

    Something about people thinking of me and giving me well wishes makes me feel so much more isolated. It is painful, especially receiving gifts - putting on that fake smile..

    I also hate the christmas/New Years period but I think I might start a thread on that because it is a different yet similarly difficult experience.

    Oh! and don't forget the Eminem lyrics :

    I don't know why the fuck I'm here in the first place
    My worst day on this earth was my first birthday
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 19, 2012
  14. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    I hate my birthdays too. Not only because I'm getting old, but also because it usually goes unnoticed and uncelebrated because so few people know me well enough to know my birthday or care. I also wish I was never born. This may sound horrible, but my mother had an abortion before she had me, and sometimes I wish that it had been me who was aborted instead.

    I'm 33, and I haven't done most of those things either, if that makes you feel any better.
     
  15. pppqp

    pppqp Well-Known Member

    i hate my BD too. i terminated my facebook account already but when it was active, i left my birth date blank. even on this forum.
    it's terrible to be reminded that way and on that particular day that no one cares about you.
     
  16. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Oh lord, just one week left for me until that horrible day comes. :(
     
  17. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    I stopped counting at 25. I think it the most awkward when everyone else gets a gift. Meanwhile you don't get anything because I live with my parents. My kids (whom I never see) will never know it's my birthday, etc etc etc... I hope to be dead by the time they are old enough to try to find me. Either that or live in another state, so that they can't get close to me.
     
  18. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Sigh, yet another birthday come and gone yesterday (Memorial Day holiday here in the U.S). Yet another birthday full of sadness, hatred, self-pity and loathing, etc. Kept thinking about how I was born premature and how my dad made the biggest mistake of his life to take me to a hospital and to save my life instead of just dumping it into an open sewer near a slum where I was born. Another day of mostly sleeping the day away to hide my immense pain. Another day of people giving the obligatory "Happy Birthday" messages on my Skype and Facebook when I had the furthest thing from it. A very "Unhappy Birthday" to me.
     
  19. JigsawJohn

    JigsawJohn Well-Known Member

    The only thing I like about my birthday is having cake... I don't even like getting presents. I don't really understand why birthdays are being celebrated. I don't like the fact that I'm still here, yet another worthless year has passed and why are others celebrating me? I don't want to be celebrated... And I also get reminded how much more pain I've felt since my last birthday. Not okay.
     
  20. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    I don't think anything has happened on my birthday for the past 4 years lol (not that I care). The only thing I dread about my birthday is looking more and more pathetic. Shouldn't you be hanging out with friends on your birthday? Why do you do nothing on your birthday? etc.
     
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