I'm surprised I'm still alive.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by 1234567890, Mar 28, 2013.

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  1. 1234567890

    1234567890 Member

    While never attempted suicide, I came sort of close once and planned another attempt, but abandoned that in the early stages.

    My situation here was referenced to as a "touchy subject" and a PEADOPHILE got more support than I did(I'm not saying that ANYONE should be denied support from this site, but it still say that that speaks volumes.

    The Samaritans actually had the nerve to keep a volunteer on as staff even though he said that having a difficult childhood would make you tough!

    Maytree told me to see the problem from the person who has caused me to be suicidal!

    Why did this happen?

    Well I'd say partly because of the Western World- I mean people here said to stop expressing my pain and it made me wonder- If i had been a white person who had a relationship break down, I would get overwhelmed with support, But no I'm a South Asian dealing with the fact that one of mt closest childhood friends is in a romantic relationship. I found this hard to admit at first but he is also gay

    Someone here even had the nerve to say to me- "It is none of your business if he is in a relationship"

    If this hadn't been so traumatizing, i guess it would be interesting to see that a religious extremist is actually more pro-homosexuality than they were arranged marriage!!!

    I don't know what to do. I have manged to beat my suicidal feelings for a long time, But i'm worried they are now returning. It's ruining me, my extended familiy and some of my real friends's lives.
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am sorry you are in a difficult situation and hope you get some of the support you need. The support and advice you get on any public forum is based on the life experiences and opinions of the members. There is no training required to be a member to offer advice or a staff either. So far as the reason I am less certain it has anything to do with where your are from or race. I have no idea where 98% of the members are from, their race, and even male or female I am purely guessing usually as even the usernames do not indicate or would indicate one when in actuality are the other sex.
  3. 1234567890

    1234567890 Member

    People even said that arranged marriage are like rape to a very vulnerable person. It makes me mad that the white man's burden still exists and that my people are suffering for it.
  4. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    The truth is there are more arranged marriages every year worldwide than "typical"(be some western definitions). I believe the only important factor is choice and consent to enter into an arranged marriage. So long as the people involved believe it is in fact their choice th enter into it and both parties (the husband and wife being the ones i am referring to) consent to the marriage taking place it is simply cultural and personal preference.
    I believe the issue came up when it was stated you believed it was wrong for somebody to choose not to enter into an arranged marriage ...as I recall...
  5. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    A very interesting assessment. You claim that you were traumatized by something that someone else pointed out. The majority of relationships are between two people, and how they interact. If it's a lovers based relationship, that is not something that anybody else outside of those it concerns, (for example, a heterosexual couple, a man and a woman, make a choice to be in a relationship where they are more than just friends, they do not have to justify their private lives to anyone else, regardless of how close friends are, or how long the friends have known them).

    It traumatized you for what reason? It seems like you may have a hint of jealousy that a close childhood friend has made a choice with their life, involving someone other than you. A constructive criticism, but a possibility nevertheless.

    Marriage, again, as far as a majority is concerned, whether arranged or through love, is an agreement between two people again. Does it truly matter which avenue they pursue? As long as the people involved in the actual ceremony, whether heterosexual or homosexual, are happy with each other, and the joint decision to enter into such a committed phase of a relationship, anyone else's opinions are just that. If the external sides are not happy, it has no relevance and the people on the internal side (for heterosexual, bride and groom), could turn around and request that those who are not happy are not present to spoil their day.

    You are frustrated with western culture being what it is in your eyes, but you are slightly misguided in your information. How I can draw that conclusion is this. I am a light-skinned male of UK origin, living in the UK, and I find that it is more likely to go along the opposite to what you have said. If I say anything against a female, I am sexist. If I say anything against anyone who is not British of birth, that would go down as racism. If I say anything against someone with a different skin colour, again that would go as racism. And that is living in the place I was born and raised into. If I was to head to, and live in the area you were born into, there is a possibility that I could endure similar patterns to you, because of the cultural differences. Does this mean that I would necessarily get more support? In fact, as a single male, I am one of the lowest ranked when it comes to housing needs, Even though I was born in the country I live in. Because I am not physically impounded, do I necessarily get support when it comes to benefits available? No, I don't. I see that others who are not UK nationals, seem to get more offered to them, whether its a refugee, or someone coming over from another part of the world to live and work, and yet war-fighting veterans (people who have served in conflicts such as the Falklands, or World War II), have to struggle on state handouts that are minimal, even though they put their lives on the line, one particular notable event, the D-day landings on the north coast of France in June 1944 that enabled many soldiers to be rescued and be able to fight on. But they aren't given a fair deal in residential homes. I mean, people who commit crimes, and spend more time in a prison, have a better quality of life than some who suffer in these homes. Is that right? Is that what I, as a native of the country i'm in, have to look forward to should I live long enough?

    In terms of the Samaritans issue, it is primarily volunteer based, and each individual would be more likely to have a differing opinion to the next. But what we choose to do with that information is our decision. The only rights or wrongs are when we cross the boundary of laws that are in the countries of where we reside), so for you to be critical of that, while it's your own opinion and that again is not wrong, it doesn't have to be so aggressively stated that they are.

    With what Maytree suggested, it was possible that they were looking to assist you in a different way. Not one you agreed with, but where it's easy for us to state "Try seeing it from my point of view," is it not possible to look at it from another angle instead of just the one which you seem intent on seeing it from?

    Is it not worth considering that many religions aren't as widely accepting of pro-homosexuality as they would instil belief in us to do? There are so many extremes in which homosexuality is considered an issue, such as TV talent shows (I can name two from the UK, won by homosexuals, who didn't "come out" until after they had won), or sports stars (A recent one I heard about was the former Welsh rugby player Gareth Thomas). There is so much stigma attached to these situations and more, because of what journalism/media avenues could do to undermine the fact that these are people who have a right to be treated equally. Just like you being South Asian. Me being from the UK. Those who live beyond birth, start off as an unclothed baby, not talking (usually crying to signify various needs), not crawling/walking, initially. Does that not mean we start life as equals?

    I'm supportive of this statement, but I do have to add the suggestion that marriages are not solely for men and women to commit into. (in as much as husband and wife reference)
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 29, 2013
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