I'm taking my life at the end of the month

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sadhart, May 15, 2012.

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  1. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I know I am pathetic for writing this, but I just don't care. I'm too old(now out of my 20's) and I have no reason to live. I am tired of explaining all the problems that I am facing, but it hurts too much and it will never end. There is no understanding or hope in my life. I'm just tired of trying to hang on anymore.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    This is so sad...to whom have you tried to explain how you feel? When someone reacts in a way that is so out of place for how we are feeling, it is his/her problem...can you take a few minutes to try to explain it here, and see if anyone relates, or PM me and let me know?
  3. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I don't think anyone can relate to what I'm dealing with. I'm not saying my problems are worse than anyone else's, but I don't want to keep going through all this hurt. I really want to have a steady job this summer, but finding one is hard. Worse, I have become so tired of my family who treats me like some damn scapegoat. At least I can admit I'm a failure....these people are too pug headed to see their own wrongs and bullshit.

    And even though I have said this many times on this board, I cannot and will not apparently, get over being rejected from three years ago. Yes, I know that's pathetic, but dammit, it never stops hurting. They hold over my head what I'm not able to do for myself and that I should appreciate them more. But they don't appreciate me and they don't care when they hurt me.

    I know I sound like a victim, but I am not going to pretend like this doesn't bother me. It would be a different story if I wasn't trying to better my life, but that isn't the case. I'm sorry, but I'n tired of feeling nothing but hopelessness and pain.
  4. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    I can relate. Maybe not to what you're going through specifically, but to how you feel. I, too, am in my 30s. It does seem like you start running out of hope and options the older you get.

    I have also set a timeline, though I won't say for how long. I have a plan, and I don't intend to abandon that plan unless something drastically changes between now and then.

    I know that's not much consolation, but sometimes people feel better when they know they're not alone in how they feel. Just know that some of us understand and aren't going to judge you, if it's any comfort at all. I hope that you find what you're looking for before it's too late. If not, I'll be joining you soon on the other side.
  5. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    Thanks for understanding Lonewolf. I hope you're able to find what you're looking for as well.
  6. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    You're welcome. Feel free to PM me if you need to vent. Or if you don't feel like talking about it, that's okay too. Sometimes I just like to bitch about whatever's bothering me and it makes me feel better, temporarily at least.
  7. sadguy33

    sadguy33 Banned Member

    <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Response to deleted post>

    There are lots of people here that do care. I care if that means anything. I hope you reconsider.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 16, 2012
  8. Blackbird33

    Blackbird33 Well-Known Member

    Your post pretty much summed up my thoughts
  9. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    The fact that you have posted here, means that you still have some tiny spark inside of you that wants to live. We need to help you nurture that and hold onto that as best as you can. If you had totally given up, then you may have taken your life already. :(

    But there is still a very small part of you that wants to fight. I hope you reconsider as well. Its funny I say that as I am highly convinced that I MUST commit suicide, but I still must help others to never do the act. I feel that only I am incurable and everyone else can be saved from suicide. Haha, how ironic I suppose.

    Please, take care.
  10. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    Well, I would like to say thank you, and I may not know you, but I don't think you are incurable. You take care as well.
  11. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    Thank you. I appreciate you reaching out. I'm trying to make sure none you alls words are in vain. I'm hurting, but I want to try to believe something better will come along to at least numb this pain.
  12. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    It is not pathetic to post that here at all. This reminds me of that saying, though a little different in intent, it also applies in theory: "The only dumb question is the one you didn't ask." You didn't ask a question, per say, but what I'm saying is that if you don't reach out... then you will never know if there is input that could help. The fact that you posted at all is a first good sign that you want to resolve and find wellness at some point. Keep on posting, keep on expressing, keep on communicating and questioning what is going on with yourself. What I have seen on this site since I started coming and observing and taking part here is that there are a lot of good folks ready to pitch in with one another to help out. Often, that help comes from individuals who have their own issues they are working to resolve. That makes their input even better. Hang in there and see what you can glean from everybody's input and comments.
  13. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    sadhart, we do care. Like Rahul said, even though I myself am suicidal, I do feel a need to help keep others from doing it. I guess I believe that there is hope for everybody but me. Ridiculous, I know, but I have seen so many people's lives turn around for the better, and I wish that for all of you, even when I can't see it happening for myself. I believe that if you do hang on, you will eventually find what you are looking for in this life. And I hope that you do.

    As I said before, I won't judge you either way. We all have our own problems and sometimes they become overwhelming. This I understand. But I am hoping you find the strength to push through until you do find your happiness.
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