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I'm that pretty girl

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by littlegirllost, Oct 19, 2008.

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  1. littlegirllost

    littlegirllost New Member

    I'm that really pretty girl you see walking around town, looking confident and put together, but really suffers from a disease that has no cure, has horrible anxiety, shyness, cries every night for hours all alone, has no friends or anything to bring any joy to her life. I get up every morning to a job that I hate, in a city I don't belong in, in an apartment that I can't afford, and count the hours and minutes until I can talk on the phone to the only good thing in my life, my boyfriend, who has no idea how depressed and miserable I really am. He asks me, what are my passions? And I can't answer that because I have none. Without him, I would surely end my life.

    Are there any ladies in their 20s who are in a similar situation? Would love to chat.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 19, 2008
  2. Phoenix1985

    Phoenix1985 Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear you're so depressed.
    Can you talk to your boyfriend about how you are feeling?
  3. littlegirllost

    littlegirllost New Member

    I'm afraid I would scare him away if he knew how messed up I am. He thinks I'm a goddess! I'm contemplating just dropping everything here and starting a new life out in California, but I would be devastated to lose the love of my life.
  4. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    At least you have someone in your life... Be happy with that. You dont have a reason to be depressed, just try more.
  5. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    Why you dont have friends?
  6. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    That's real supportive...
  7. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    I've read in the other thread that you have no friends because you are shy. Yeah, thats true, its harder to get a lot friends if you are shy... But, try to work on it, try to change yourself, dont let the shyness get you so down.
    You also said, a few superficial friends... Also true... Its hard to find a real friend nowadays, but, dont you think that your boyfriend is also your best friend, the real one, the friend that everyone desires?
  8. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi lost girl. It sounds to me like you have a pretty good life, but you would like to have some more friends in your life. A lot of people have social anxiety to some degree, myself included. You sound like an attractive young lady, so meeting new people shouldn't be too hard. You just have to say hi to people and introduce yourself to them. I'm sure that people would love to talk with you. :hug:
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Dave when did you become one of the girls(haha)?
  10. SadDude87

    SadDude87 Well-Known Member

    You sound like a girl version of me. Hopefully you can count on your bf. Good luck
  11. Born_A_LoseR

    Born_A_LoseR Active Member

    I agree with touglytobeloved, at least u have a boyfriend...I would do anything to have a girl in my life
  12. fifa

    fifa Member

    I'm not a female but a lot of what you said sounds familiar. I've changed jobs, locations and girlfriends in dramatic fashions quite a bit over the years in hopes that things would change or more accurately, I would change. Turns out no matter where I lived (even Prague, which is a great city), what job I had (I've had many different ones and I hated them all), or who I was with, I still felt like existence seemed impossible. So after many years of trying different things and being in many places, I finally came to the obvious conclusion that I just hated being me. So now I'm on medications and just very recently (today in fact) I started to notice that I'm starting to not think about myself as much, therefore I'm not hating being me as frequently. I hope it's not just a mood swing in the positive direction but there lies some hope. I also agree that good looks don't really make you feel any better. But then again if people didn't find me attractive, I probably would have killed myself a long time ago..
    My girlfriend also didn't seem to understand how much I hated existence but that was because I never mention to what extent I hated it. Once I told her that I was strongly considering not existing and actually planning things out, she seemed to start to understand. But then again I'm dealing with a girlfriend so it's different for you with your boyfriend. Guys don't respond too well to such things.
    I would recommend trying to be around people as much as possible. No matter how bad I feel, if I'm around other people with problems I tend to focus on theirs and forget mine. If you have trouble meeting people, there are always support groups (I know, that sounds bad). There you would meet people with similar problems and they are easier to talk to and maybe you could meet some friends. Therapy also seems to help (I think). Medications seem to dull the pain a bit.
    I guess I'm writing so much more for my benefit but I really hope you can figure out a way to feel better. You're a pretty girl in a world filled with unattractive people so you're doing the world a favor by existing. You've probably provided many with moments of nice thoughts (people like to see attractive people (anything attractive for that matter).
    Good Luck and I wish you well-being.
  13. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I don't understand what you mean? :unsure:
  14. thebrain

    thebrain Well-Known Member

    You sound almost exactly like me. Except, I've told my boyfriend how I feel...a few months ago. He thinks I've gotten a lot better, but I haven't really. I've just been kind of swinging up and down. He's got his problems too- money, school, etc, not to mention some issues from his adolescence that he is still dealing with. I feel guilty telling him how I feel. He's got enough on his plate.

    I, too, don't have friends. I used to. Now I have acquaintances. Even my best friends from high school that I used to hang out with seem to think I'm strange now. The tight bonds I used to have with them have all but disintegrated. My cousin that I was close with has frolicked off with her new boy toy (who is, to say the least, not pleasant), and the friends I made my first two years of college have distanced themselves (as have I, I suppose).

    You'll find a lot of people here seem to think that if you've got a significant other whom you love and who loves you back, you should be perfectly happy. They don't understand that nothing (not even that) guarantees happiness.

    I hope you find some way to help yourself (maybe coming here was the first step :smile:) and can tell your boyfriend how you feel. Since you say he's the love of your life, I think he could be a wonderful pillar of support for you.
  15. Erratic

    Erratic Active Member

    I agree, I'd try talking to your boyfriend about it. In small measure, to test the waters. Even goddesses have their problems. If you're as tight as you say you are, chances are, he'll want nothing more than to help you through it, or to help you get help. Changing your job, location, situation, breaking up with him, or anything like that won't change the fact that you're depressed.

    There is help. Maybe not a cure, by god I'd love one, but there -is- help.
  16. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    Im sorry for the complete lack of support you have had from some people in this thread. Some people see to think this is a compition sometimes. That hurting, in you soul is not changed by having a bloke around. Again, im sorry.

    Im not the sort of girl you describe. Im the shy, weirdly dressed quiet one in the corner. However, i would like to learn to be more like you. If you need a friend who wont judge you, please PM me :hug:
  17. penguin_x

    penguin_x New Member

    society has alot of unnecessary barriers, theyre like barbed wire. If u try to get through them, itll hurt but eventually you will heal. (the barriers being judgement and ego etc)
  18. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    If your bf really loves you then it shouldn't be a problem telling him how you really feel no matter how hard you might find that to do. My last gf knew I had been depressed but because I didn't let her know how bad I actually felt she split because she said she felt I never really opened up to her. Maybe you'll scare him off but if so then it's better you find someone else who can give you the support you deserve. S.
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