Hey everyone, I am here due to constant struggle over my best mate's suicide and I personally have felt that intent to end my life also but for myself it's not as nagging. He was the one person in my Life i felt connected to; Like picturing two brothers who couldn't be closer. I also struggle from A-Sexuality and for those who is unaware of the definition it's the lack of sexual attraction or romantic emotion to either male or female sexuality - It also affects my ability to truly love my own family also. I feel so alone because no one else i know is like me, I feel so different and the one person who I had all the time in the world for as he did with me, Is no longer with us. His mother and sister is all I have at the moment and It feels like I am too reliant on them but at the same time I'd move heaven and earth to protect them and make sure they get through an everlasting heartbreak. The last six months my head has been filled with Travis it's all that has occupied my brain so know it feels like all I know and all I care about is him and those that were close to him. I feel terrible that I can't love my own family however that connection that was there and should be there, no longer isn't. Thanks so much for reading this.