I'm the stupidest person ever

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Witty_Sarcasm, Jul 13, 2016.

  1. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I seem to get catfished and trolled quite a bit. Once would be bad enough, but it has happened multiple times. I think people care about me and that I can trust them, then they turn out to be someone completely different. Is it too much to ask to think that someone might actually care about me? I like the internet, but it can also be a place for seedy people to lurk. So how can I protect myself from this happening any longer? How will I be able to trust anyone again?
     
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  2. iam

    iam SF Supporter

    I had to google what catfishes means.
    The internet is great but unfortunately there are a lot of people who are happy to take advantage of others to make themselves feel better.
    I've never really used the Internet to talk to people until recently. I went on a couple of chat sites to see what they were like. I won't go back on them. There were so many men just wanting to do terrible things to me, I can only imagine what it's like for a woman on there.
    Mind you I've had a lot of people in real who turned out to be different when they got what they wanted from me. It's why I try to avoid everyone and not make new friends but that's no way to live either.
    You seem to be getting stronger now which might help with finding real friends that don't drag you down or use you. I think if your vulnerable you attract people who will take advantage.
    My heads a bit jumbled up today so I can't tell if this makes sense or if I'm rambling.
    Anyway stay strong and positive, you are getting there.
    Hugs x
     
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    It doesn't sound jumbled at all, and you aren't rambling. I think you are right about being vulnerable. There are certain types of people out there---I would describe them as predators, and they seem to like weak people as their prey. I just need to get better at picking up signs that something is amiss, and not to trust too easily or too quickly. Although it is hard to trust when things like this keep happening. It is bad when people offline lie or hurt me, but it seems worse online, because I spend more time getting to know them and should pick up on deceptions more easily. I just feel stupid because I usually try to see the best in people.
     
  4. iam

    iam SF Supporter

    Nah your not stupid, naive maybe but not stupid. I don't know as you get older if you'll be less naive. I'm 40 now and still see the best in people and if someone is nice to me I think they could never use or hurt me. To be honest I don't ever want to lose that but I just want to be able to deal with it better and not take it so personal when people turn out to be something different. I do think deep down everyone has good in them just very very deep down
     
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  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I just have to learn to sort out who has good intentions for me and who doesn't. Some people can run a convincing game, so I just need to learn to read between the lines.
     
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  6. Huw

    Huw Well-Known Member

    I love the word trust and I live by the principle that the original or root meaning of the word implies.
    Trust: the spiritual ability of reliance in another. Trust is the abandonment of self into the care of another. This ability is not intrinsic in mankind and if found in a person it is a gift they have received.

    Faith or belief mean a psyching up of the mental attributes. Something everyone has in varying degrees.

    As for being crowned stupid on occasions you need to get in the queue, behind me.
     
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  7. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    So where did that positive person I spoke to yesterday go? And you aint stupid either, so quit that kinda talk as well. The name you chose was for a reason, you cant be witty or sarcastic if you are stupid, so self defeating argument that you lose this time.

    Trust has to be earnt. No one can just expect trust, just like respect. You will trust again because someone will earn and deserve that trust at some point. Until such time, yeah, be careful online, a lot of people are not who they say they are, me included. There is absolutely nothing sinister about me at all ;)
     
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  8. __d

    __d Active Member

    I don't know you. But it is very unlikely to me that your trust for others is out of stupidity. On the contrary, I think your trust is admirable.

    And I agree with you about predators. I think they are driven by fear. They see every body as a predator, so they cannot trust anyone, including you. This seems a problem on their side not yours.

    I may be wrong but the bigger problem is that a lot of people think "what if I am fair and others are not", and so they choose fear as well, just to be on the safe side, even though they are not born predators. This is how people like you (and yours sincerely) end up lonely.

    And now, as if having to read this all was not punishment enough, I add that my note may not be credible, because I myself failed to answer this question and in my late 30s contemplate suicide!

    I truly hope things will work out well for you.
     
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  9. __d

    __d Active Member

    sorry for continuing after the already long post. Correction/clarification:"this is how other people refuse to trust you and you end up lonely."
     
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  10. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I just feel stupid because I keep falling for lies, even though I am not that dense. But it seems that I am when people do things to pull on my heartstrings. I try not to trust easily, but when I finally do, people usually misuse it and it is hard to deal with.
     
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  11. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I hope things work out for you as well. It sounds like maybe you have been hurt by people you trusted. I don't know why people choose to take advantage when you only care about them and want the best for them. I think some predatory people are just good at eliciting sympathy from someone, and that's why it can be hard to tell who is genuine and who is not.
     
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  12. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I just seem to be very hard on myself when something bad happens. Tend to blame myself whether it is my fault or not.
     
  13. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You're not stupid at all just have to be careful about who you trust, too many people out there wanting to take advantage and upset others. You're a good caring person and don't deserve this, just remember that :)
     
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  14. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Thank you hun :) I am glad that there are people here that want the best for me. I feel safe here at least.
     
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  15. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Good, you have good reason to feel safe here and fwiw I care about you a lot (hugs)
     
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  16. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Thank you :) I care about you a lot too, and some other great friends I have made here.
     
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  17. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    In the group I go to on a Wednesday, we were talking about depression and how it affects relationships with others we come into contact with. In the group [small] in that room, I feel totally safe. I talk, someone listens. They talk, I listen. The OT talks, she makes a lot of sense and treats us like adults. But once I walk away from there, I no longer feel safe, from myself or the world. I dont even feel safe at home anymore. But the one other place I feel safe is here.

    We share so much pain, so much emotion, so many different symptoms and disorders and everyone [nearly] understands and supports each other and tries so hard to keep each other safe from self harm and worse. Yeah we do stupid things, we are sometimes naive, we do trust the wrong people, we do screw up, but there is always someone there to try and help us pick up the pieces again. Maybe thats rose tinted specs, I dont know, but these days, it takes a lot to make me feel safe and just knowing I can be here and feel safe no matter how bad things get, there is just no price that can be put on that.

    So I am pleased you [and others] feel safe when they are here as well. Yeah, sometimes we are stupid, but at least we can be stupid together in a safe environment. Sorry if thats off topic a tad, just wanted to get that out of my head.
     
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  18. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I am glad you have your group and that you feel safe and able to express yourself there. I feel like that here for the most part. It is harder for me to open up now, each time I am betrayed it gets worse. Just something that I need to work on.
     
  19. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Completely and utterly understandable.
     
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  20. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    You are not stupid. I think its because once a person has been hurt by others it makes them more vulnerable to be hurt again. Remember you do not deserve to get hurt. You are kind and caring.
     
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