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I'm there tonight. Can't go on.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by averagejoetx, May 16, 2010.

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  1. averagejoetx

    averagejoetx New Member

    You all seem so supportive. Could really use some of that. My wife left me 3 mos ago and I don't feel like I can go on any more. For the first time I actually have a plan on how to do it. Someone pull me back from the brink please...
  2. jabooty

    jabooty Banned Member

    ahh man...first im sorry to hear that! another story of heartbreak...so i can really relate!

    let me the first to say you can! how long were you guys married for. Ive noticed that to fully get over someone, you have to go thru the half-life of that relationship. So you may be suffering many months and possibly years. Thats the bad news...good news is that this too shall pass!

    My finace and I were together for 8 years...it took me a good 5 years to fully purge her from my system. I dated and such in that time, but my thoughts kept going back to her.

    but if you loved her YOU'll always love her! and she will always have a place in your heart. So no need to do anything stupid. Your wounds are fresh...if you break your arm it will take time to heal...same with you heart.

    I feel your pain man. Believe me I do! I am going thru a similar situation myself. My second love (not my finace) and I recently broke up well about 3-4 months now. I was with her 2 years...those wounds are extremly fresh with me...and hurting just like you are.
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I just want to say that I'm sorry for what you're going through. I know it hurts, and right now it doesn't feel like you can get through it. But you can. It takes time, and the hurt won't all go away at one time. But you can make it.

    My PM box is always open if you want to talk.
  4. averagejoetx

    averagejoetx New Member

    We were together for 10 yrs. 8 of them married. I have lost everything since she left. I dont want to do it but the pain is so over whelming. I cut myself but the relief is only temp. Cry all the time now. My meds dont work. Cant get in to see a shrink quick enough.
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    can you get in to see a grief councelor as your loss is great You will get over it the pain will become less. I am so sorry your wife did this to you I think if you get worse you need to sign self into hospital that way you will get support you need of a psychiatrist and councelling you need for your loss
  6. jabooty

    jabooty Banned Member

    thats a long time man! and it will take you a while to get over it.

    man sounds like you and me are going thru the same...i just let everything go after she left. Couldnt really care about anything or anyone and I know right now nothing that anyone says will make you feel any better. i spent the last few days crying myself. keep talking to us. As humans we like to focus on our depression rather than the outside world...thing will get better, but slowloy. After all you didn't get married your first 3 months. It took 2 years! this wont pass in that short of period either.


    When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back into you

    you dont want to make any rash decisions! nor do you want to harm yourself.
  7. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Things can get better. I agree ... keep talking to us, keep reaching out here. I know we can't take the pain away, but we can be there so you don't have to go through it alone.
  8. PollyAnna

    PollyAnna Account Closed

    I'm sorry to hear that. Please don't kill yourself. But, you have to move on. Take as long as you want, and when you're ready, go out there. It will be hard. But, not everything Is easy, mate. And this time when you move on, be open-minded. Date WHOEVER,you want. Of any age, of any background, of any gender. Love has no boundaries. You also have to develope a belief of destiny. Some things are meant to be.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 18, 2010
  9. carekitty

    carekitty Guest

    I'm sorry, that just sucks.

    You need to give yourself more time. Three months isn't very long to grieve after losing a long term relationship. It takes time to heal. But it does happen. One day you wake up and find that it doesn't hurt quite so bad. And the next day may even be a little better.

    Just let yourself feel whatever you need to feel, and please see someone as soon as possible. If you truly feel like hurting yourself, don't wait to see a doc, go to the ER.

    Take care.
  10. shazwackers

    shazwackers Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry for what you are going through. You are still very raw and will be for some time yet. At least you are crying and letting it out.......please get some professional help ASAP and keep talking here..............

    Also you were married for a long time which is a credit to you.........you must be a lovable, giving person.............and you can be again.........
  11. zonenine

    zonenine Member

    Please use your friends or people here. My wife fooled around and I kicked her out, after 7 yrs. I felt so like dying, worse than dying, sitting there feeling that.All my friends knew too, me last of course.People sat w me at my house or the asshole diner for months.We talk now, shes remarried.

    Another wife was crippled, had spastic parapalegia, and after I spent years alone w her battling her cancer (her children and family never came to see or help her, the poor woman bought 4 cars for 1 boy and 3 for the other during this)That wife asked bikers could she get me killed, and put poison in my coffee.The kids and I love each other, she hates me.She wont speak to me.

    Ive tried to get the cops to kill me several times also.I can only swear that life in a way has become unbearably beautiful and horrible at the same time.I think that is almost the only way it can happen, and although I hate it I also love it, and its worth it to hurt in the end for what we can feel and see and become.

    I have been given a strength and an appreciation of beauty and peace and serene time alone and so many other things I never would have believed.A day lasts years for me now, on good days.

    I am always tired, and always feel ready to die, always want to die, I have seen and had enough.But I believe there is a reason Im supposed to be here, and will be forged into a better person if I dont give up.Won't I be embarrassed if I was sposed to kill myself.

    Don't let me lie, I have almost always hated every minute of what happens to me and often try to fight it.
    But lately, I try to make no decisions and I have found that like 90 percent of life can be lived without me interfering.
    I am sure that others (or Gods) plans would be better for me than what I want.

    It shouldn't be done alone, please use people, force yourself to be w them or talking to them.Every time I screw up, I do it alone.Dont do anything rash, please, write more or call a buddy.
  12. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Well I have not been married, but my heart was broken as well. You just have to believe she is not worth your tears. I manage to coup by getting angry at her in private. Of course in my case the fouling is for naught since she continues to send me mixed signals. However, getting angry makes me feel better.

    Just remember you know what it is like to love. You will love again.
  13. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I've been there also.. My ex cheated on me so I moved out.. She cleaned out the bank account and ripped me off for $18,000...I didn't care I just wanted her back.. It took me a year to get past the greif..Then I found anger and got rid of everything she gave me..You need a good therapist. they Can teach you about the stages of greif and about cognitive distortions.. You will be amazed how many of them fit you..Please don't harm yourself.. There is hope out there..It just takes time to mend the heart.. Take care!!
  14. jack5989

    jack5989 New Member

    you seem to have a reason behind your desire to kill yourself. then the opposite should be true.

    if your wife leaving you has made you want to kill yourself then finding the right person can make you want to live. you have hope of getting out of this urself. right now that may not be apparent but i assure you if you love and believe in yourself and stop looking for that person to fix you then the person will find you. good luck.
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