I'm thinking every day about the way how to end my life

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by NoIdeaWhichName, Aug 13, 2016.

  1. NoIdeaWhichName

    NoIdeaWhichName Active Member

    I'm obsessed with problem that I can't fix and i can't get it out of my head. Like i said here earlier, a yt video of my voice with 18k views and growing. I'm counting that in next few years it will have 100k views.
    If i tell that to someone like my mother, her answer is that i'm boring and that i'm repeating myself and that this is just a voice and not my image or my full name instead of helping me. I reported a video but yt didn't remove it.
    In last 2 years i had an another problem that i was obssessed with
    but right now i have this problem that i was talking about here earlier. That problem also creates other problems and leads me to depression. I can't smile or joke because of problems that I have in my head... Is this mental or real problem? I need to know... Because I really want to kill myself for many years and I see this as a good reason.
    btw sorry for being boring...
  2. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    You're not boring. Hugs

    Sorry you're struggling with all this. Have you seen a dr? Therapist? Are you safe?
    Petal likes this.
  3. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Yes, you have already raised this issue here at SF. This post is almost identical in nature and content. The response will be just the same.

    Its not about being boring, you are not boring, but you are getting bogged down in issues that appear to overwhelm you and you dont know how to deal with them, so you see suicide as a way of avoiding the issues completely. That kind of behaviour is often a mental problem or a mental health problem. Without seeking proper professional medical advice, you will never be 100% certain.

    Your choice of words are interesting. Obsession is not a pleasant emotion and not easy to overcome. I would say to you that if you are going to continuously obsess about problems and issues you face as you go through life, you are going to spend a lot of time thinking about suicide. So you need to find a way to break this cycle of how you are coping with problems. Talking it over with someone might help you to do that. Posting the same thing here a hundred times wont change anything, only you can do that.

    It IS just a voice on a video and most people probably wont give it a second thought. Very difficult to identify anyone by voice alone. 18k views in a world of over 7 billion is like a grain of sand on a beach. And how many videos are on YT? So I think you are worrying about what? You dont explain why your voice being on the video is a issue. Your mother is not concerned, so if and its a massive if, anyone were to tell her they thought they heard your voice on a video on YT, I doubt your mother would be troubled by it, unless of course you are involved in something illegal or something like that.
    Petal likes this.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there,

    It was nice talking to you in chat. You told me what you were talking about but ye were joking, I cannot even tell which sister picks up the phone nevermind recognise someone's voice on youtube. Not dismissing your problem in any way. Could you talk to a lawyer about removing the video? If that's not an option, search online for counsellors in your area and talk to them and see how that goes, you have to change something, without change nothing will happen. Do it now, look for therapists and ring monday morning (don't mean to sound harsh) just the cold truth of how you can change this issue from being an issue.

    Always around if you need a chat or a friendly ear.
  5. NoIdeaWhichName

    NoIdeaWhichName Active Member

    Thank you both for your help. You really helped me.
    Petal and SinisterKid like this.