I'm tired of being ok for everyone else

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by asereht, Jan 9, 2016.

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  1. asereht

    asereht New Member

    I'm an adult, yes;!bit an only child who lost her mom in 2011 and her dad just six months ago; both suddenly; they were my lifeline. I have a very large family on both sides, and they all took these loses so very hard; my family looks to me for comfort when they are missing my parents, and I'm tired of being strong for everyone else when all I want to do is die and be with them again. that's my story.
     
  2. Liatris

    Liatris Member

    I'd suggest being very direct when someone comes to you for comfort. Say, "I'm sad, too. They were my parents. I wish other people would comfort me. The load is too heavy for me to bear."
     
  3. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    I agree with Liatris - there isn't a rule that says you have to be strong for anyone. They were your parents - you get to grieve. You need support too and its okay to say so.
     
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    When my father died, my mother wanted me to comfort her, my uncle and my son.
    I felt so pissed off because he was my dad and I was grieving.
    , so don't get to the stage where you are screaming at them "How the hell do you think I feel", like I did.
    Gently mention (though not too gently) that you have lost both your parents and could do with some support yourself.
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I agree with all the rest YOU need time to grieve to heal so if you can take some time for YOU ok reach out for support to your doctor to someone who will listen and help you through this process of healing
     
  6. asereht

    asereht New Member

    thank you all for your insights and recommendations.
     
  7. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    First of, welcome to the site; you have come to the right plce to vent your frustrations, worries, fears and anything else that is bothering you, and know you will not be judged by anyone on SF, because everyone, from the members to staff and even administrators, who all have their own issues, so I hope you think of this site as a refuge to get away from the stresses of your every day life and sit back and relax and not feel like you will be judged in the slightest.

    I can sympaphise with you, because I just lost my mum last year (coming up on 1 year, this 25 February) and the loss is still with me and I do not have a dad (not because he passed away, but because i disowned him - not the same thing, I know, but near enough).

    Please take comfort in the fact that you can about anything that is on your mind and that it will be met with overwhelming support and understanding. All the members here, including the administrators and staff (moderators) are all very nice and compassionate people who will do anything they can to help you, if they can, so sit back, put your feet up and know you are in good hands, no matter how you feel, day or night.

    I would give you some bubbles, but that features has been disabled since the new site format, so for the time being, you will have to make do with with my avatar (PPG Bubbles - who sends her love, by the way) and we all wish you a great and wonderful stay with us.
     
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