I really don't have anyone in my life to say "I'm really not doing very well right now". My family has heard it too many times for it to have any meaning anymore and they don't even understand what they could do to help me. I'm not close enough with any of my friends, emotionally or geographically, to have any kind of support system. I guess I can tell my therapist but then I'll just get hospitalized or whatever, try new meds, try new bullshit therapy techniques, same thing that's happened for two years with no results. Nobody notices when I stop talking to them because they assume I don't talk very much in the first place and nobody can tell when my emotions are low because my face doesn't show it. There's really only one person I care about and I'm not going to get to be with her. I'm set to finally kill myself this Friday. Sometimes it's good to postpone it a few days like this because your emotions might improve, but Friday nights really get to me for some reason. I don't think I'm going to feel better by then.