I'm tired of it all..

[LouiseCap]

Argghh, I'm tired of everything that's going on with me. I started off with the eating disorder anorexia in 2004. Now I have been bulimic since June 2006 and also started self-harming in December. I attempted suicide at the beginning of June but chicken out at the last minute and called someone to take me to hospital. I'm still feeling suicidal and always think of how it would be so much easier to just say goodbye to the world.

I have been to see my GP a few times so I can get a therapist for my bulimia etc and he always says that he'll get someone to contact me so I can see them but that never happens. I have been trying to get help for the past year but I think they never take me seriously because I am not underweight and don't look 'ill'.

It was really hard to ask for help and now it seems that no-one wants to help me. Why do I even bother putting myself through this?

 

[butterflies32]

Heya sweety,

Try seeing another GP. I have an ED but I am perfectly healthy inside and out...the gp I am seeing for it (she asks me to go back every three weeks for a check up) still asked for a referal to an ED unit. If you feel like ur GP isn't taking you very seriously then try another one keep trying until someone does take you seriously. It might help if you tell them the effects that it is having on you i.e you don't want to live any more and that you have started to self harm (which coincedently I have done to). This might get you into seeing a proffessional to which you then can move to someone that help you with your bulimia. Keep pestering the doctors!!!!!

People can't help you unless u ask for it and I know that this is really difficult to do it always takes me weeks to pluck up the courage to talk to someone to get help and then by then I manage to convince myself that nothing is wrong and I am making a big deal out of nothing. But that is not true.

People do want to help you so keep trying to express yourself. I sometimes write it down and give the note to the intended person in order to get my point across. You could always try going back to the place that treated you for your anorexia.

There is a life beyound ED's we just have to fight for it.

If you want to talk more feel free to PM me.

:hug:

Sam
x

 

[~Claire]

Hi Hun,

I know how daunting it can be going to ask for help...when I first went to my GP back in October 2006 & told her I was feeling suicidal, she said 'come back & see me in 3 months'. I knew there was no way I would be alive in 3 months without any form of help so I booked an appt with a health visitor (I was seeing her due to a miscarriage), luckily she realised just how bad I was & referred me to the cmht. I owe a lot to that woman & I can't even remember her name, since she referred me I have been seeing a cpn & without it I don't think I would still be here.

As for your ED, it can be so frustrating, just because you are not underweight & look ill does not mean you don't have a problem. It makes me so angry as a few years ago I was bulimic & was addicted to laxatives, diuretics, slimming pills...anything really & I was also making myself sick several times a day but because my weight was normal I felt that nobody took me seriously & the problem was never properly addressed.

You deserve help hunny as it's not good to go through this alone. We will support you here as much as we can, but you should also go back to your GP & ask if they have a cmht that you can be referred to. Hopefully they will start taking note of how you are.

((hugs))

 

[LouiseCap]

Butterflies and Claire...

thanks for your support :smile: I feel better now that I am not alone in this and there are other people that know what I am going through, even though everyone's problems are unique.

I will go back to my GP on Monday since it's closed at weekends I believe. I have an emergency contact number that I can ring, given to me from the nhs when I went in to be treated for my OD. I may give them another ring but I just know they will not get back to me again. But I suppose I will have to keep pestering them like you both say.

Thanks again for your support, hope you 2 are doing well atm,
x

 

[Insignificant]

please keep buggin' the hell out of them. push and insist on the help. you most certainly deserve it. sometimes it just takes persistance. good luck to you and please whatever you do please take care and stay safe

 

[butterflies32]

Heya,

Good luck for monday. I am sure it is going to be ok, write things down if you need to.

Sam
x