Im tired of lying to myself.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by sadhart, Jan 12, 2015.

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  1. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I am hurting and feeling like my life has no purpose. I have no one I can turn to right now and I don't even know why im here because i see no hope now and probably never will. IIt's hard to say all that's wrong in my life....see my old posts. I'm just so tired of everything. I'm sorry for writing this stupid post.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It is NOT a stupid post ok it a a post written by someone who is depressed and sad and who is reaching out for support. I am sorry youare feeling so low
  3. querida

    querida Well-Known Member

    There is no need for you to be sorry for posting on here and there is no such thing as a stupid post!

    I think it is great that you have come onto the forum when you feel that you have nobody else to turn to. I have certainly found this to be a great supportive environment in the past.

    Its okay to feel pain sometimes, everybody has these feelings at some point in their lives. I promise you that in can and will get better. Just hang on in there.

    Love and hugs
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Your post isn't stupid, and it's good you've reached out. :hug: Here if you feel like talking.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hope that you are feeling better today :hug:
  6. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    Thank you to everyone. It wasn't a really bad week, but I just still very out of place in life right now. I am starting to think being alone in the world is all that my life will be like.
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    As the saying goes if you are going through hell them keep going. We're here for you even if no-one in real life is.

    :imsorry: you are feeling so dowm, I hope things really improve for you.
  8. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    I know the feeling. Despite how unlikely it may seem, things can change pretty drastically, rather quickly in life. Whatever you can do to try to put yourself in a position to have this transformation take place (sometimes something so simple as, "being in the right place, at the right time."), is about all you can hope to do--in terms of control-w/your fate; or destiny if you will... Or maybe it's all a whole lot less mystical than that. But that's precisely how it's worked for me on occasion. Best Wishes
  9. deb22

    deb22 Well-Known Member

    Hi Sadhart, I hope you are feeling better by now, it's 11:30 pm and I hope the worst of the feeling are eased or you are asleep. Feeling out of place and alone is so overwhelming and I don't really have much of an answer for you. In a post you once said " i wasn't good enough to be worth getting to know by her,". I don't know how much she meant to you but I think you answered your own question in that sentence.
    "By her"....She is only one in the world and there are a lot more people out there who may want to know you. I know your thinking but I don't want to be alone, I get that, It's kinda why I am up writing at midnight right now. It is so difficult to see yourself through the eyes of others and even a few unkind words by someone can put us right back at square one in the worthless department.
    But she IS only one and not "the one". Try and give yourself the benefit of doubt and accept that others out here in the world will not share HER opinion of you and neither should you.
    Take care and please have faith that all sorts of different people walk this earth and we do not all think and share the opinions that she may have, so hope should exist for you as much as it does for all of us.
  10. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    When it comes to this particular girl, it is really hard to explain why this has been so hard to move on from. It wasn't just her rejecting me it was the way that it went about and the words that she used. Some fo the things she said I had heard before like being awkward. She also made what I felt was a very hurtful and unneccesary comment that was degrading to me as man. Maybe it's because i had (have?) feelings for her, but her words, as painful they were mattered and they still hurt for whatever reason.

    I notice pretty girls every day, but something in me makes me hold back out of fear of not being good enough and getting hurt again. This girl wasn't the first rejection in my life, but I supose she was the most painful.

    As for everything else in my life, I am in this thing at this church I go to called Support circles. It's hard to explain other than some volunteers will support me in my goals I have in my life. I met a couple of the people last night and they seem like nice people, but it's hard to say if I really feel comfortable telling them the things I am trying to accomplish in my life. I don't's too much to think about right now. Sorry for rambling like this.
  11. deb22

    deb22 Well-Known Member

    Hi Sadhart, Ya I get that some peoples words or feelings about us can hurt way more than others. They can also stick with us a long time but only if we believe there is truth in the words and a lack of confidence in your own self worth makes it all the easier for others to hurt us with unthinking words. People with self confidence would know right away that she was just either speaking out of anger or she wanted to hurt and let the words flow right away to the garbage where they belong.

    You do not need to feel anger towards her to get over these feelings but you need to recognize that you are so much more than a single opinion of one woman regardless how much you may/do like her. Your self worth should only be judged by you. Being awkward is not a cardinal sin nor is it a fault in your ability to love or be loved, it's just a social condition and should have NO basis in devaluing your confidence.

    As for the support circles, just share as much as you feel comfort in. If you want to take your time and build a better foundation with these people one great way to do it is for you to be a support for someone in the group. You may not feel you have the skills or whatever but when you help others in an intimate way like a support group you will gain confidence as you are helping others. It truly does work, your whole attitude towards yourself improves greatly when you are the one helping and it usually just involves caring enough to listen, something lacking in many of our lives. It can't hurt to build yourself up a bit while helping someone else and then when you are feeling stronger and more confident in your own skin you can start opening up about yourself.

    See you are not the only one who knows how to ramble on Lol.
  12. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    All I can say deb is that I want to move on from her, but it's hard. But I appreciate what all you said and will keep that in my thoughts for today as I am not really looking forward to the rest of today im sorry to say.
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