I'm tired of trying because it seems hopeless

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DifferentKindaGuy, Aug 1, 2013.

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  1. DifferentKindaGuy

    DifferentKindaGuy New Member

    I feel like I'm trying to run, but.....in outer space. Every move I make robs me of energy, the energy I need to survive this cold meaningless patch of time we call "life", im kicking my legs and swinging my arms but all I do is go round n round n round n round!! The harder I try the faster I spin and the more confused i become. Disorientated is a good word that describes how I spend most of the time throughout the day. Struggling to get my bearings. When I seem to get close I run Into a storm and get thrown off again. I'm disgusted with my inability to keep shit together when life's troubles happen. Every fucking time I go through a big change I get down like this and I'm sick of it. Even in between I deal with this shit, not being motivated, missing work, not takin care of myself.....I'm a fucking WRECK!! I want to shoot myself, the times when I get down I know I would have the courage to do it. I won't be afraid. I'm worthless, I can't even forgive myself for what I've done, why would anyone else? I've failed as a husband and father, the only things I wanted to be. I really just don't feel the need to live anymore. The kids are gone, Neek is gone. That's all I had. All I wanted but I let this disease get out of control and destroy my family; my life.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hear you hun i do and i have been in the same place and am right now. The thing is when i hit bottom i finally accepted help i got on meds they are helping my confusion my fatigue my feelings of hopelessness are less. You hun will always be a father and you can get strong again you can with right supports Call your doc ok tell doc you need something changed up so you are not feeling so low all time Just want you to know i hear you and i do understand but please don't give up ok you get that help you need and deserve hugs
     
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