I'm Tired of..

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Kiba, Feb 18, 2012.

  1. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    feeling invisible.. Here, in life.. and everywhere.. It's like I don't exist.. The pogram that dropped me forgot about my graduation.. I texted my old therapist to ask if I was ever going to get a certificate.. And no.. Its not that I need the paper.. I just.. I need to know I'm not invisible.. And nothing..

    All the people I talk to online.. It's always me asking to talk to them.. only so often does anyone talk to me.. Not many if any text me at all.. Beyond my friend Julia, Mikel.. and my Dad.. I feel completely invisible..

    Julias friends also are doing similar to her.. besides me.. they either hate her or forgot about her.. And all we got is ourselves.. And I feel so alone.. And I know I'll be ok.. But.. I hate this feeling.. That I'm invisible.. That I don't exist..

    I'm a shadow.. Like my username.. It seems..

    Oh well I supose.. Unless I'm threatening suicide seems no one will care.. and even if I am.. ppl know I'm not serious.. and those who could help wont take my insurance.. And turn me away..

    It makes me wonder what purpose is mine..? Am I just an invisible ghost doing things in the background?

    And one thing comes to mind someone told me.. And I'll prob sound crazy.. But..

    "The supernatural aren't often seen by humans.."

    Is that what is happening? Am I crazy? Am I insane?

    -----

    There was a guy on the train yesterday.. Very interesting fellow.. And its been confusing Julia and I since.. He said a few different things.. one that stroke me the most.. "I'm sitting next to 5 girls.. and 1 is invisible".. as he motioned to me very blatanly.. and he did this twice..

    I wasn't sure to trust him.. but we may try and find him again.. Julia and I have some questions.. We are prob considered so crazy by human standards.. and I don't know if any of you would understand or belive anything I say.. I'm apparently invisible anyway.. so what the hell..

    He had an interesting scent.. Not of drugs.. not of alcohol.. And he had covered himself up.. everywhere.. and was wearing an aluminum foil hat..

    He asked us.. "If I told you aliens would be here on 3/7/12 would you belive me?".. Julia said Yes in an instant.. and I wasnt sure..

    I'm not sure how many of you I've told my deepest thoughst to.. The thoughts I'm not human.. But honestly.. I think this guy was jusli like Julia and I.. a half human.. A Shifter.. Only more developed.. or maybe an alien..

    He even told us.. to look for him.. I think he has some importaint information.. And a reason to have talk to us..

    I don't know what else to say.. other then I prob shouldn't say more as I prob sound completly insane..
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun you are not invisible okay I am sorry you are feeling that way though It sounds like you may need to call your doctor okay as your illness seems to be flaring up some Reality there are no shift changers or aliens hun Do you have schizophrenia if so you need to talk to your doctor and get your medication adjusted okay You are not invisible I hear you okay and so will others here we care about you and want you to be safe hugs
     
  3. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    I'm not schizophrenic.. and It's not just me.. I know they are real.. What do u think of mothman? Owlman? are they real or not? what about sasquatch, big foot?? And I'm not the only one.. My friend also has similar thoughts.. And no we are both not scizophrenic!! I'm not on meds.. I'm not fucking crazy!! I haven't even attempted suicide once since being off! I'm not psychotic! Humans are the phycotic ones if they belive humans are the overtakers of the world.. And are blind to the world.. And even if I wanted to no one will take my fucking insurance so I can't even see a doctor anyways.. And I ain't ever taking meds again!

    (Sorry I'm a bit frusterated)

    I don't belive in just me alone being superhuman either.. I think there are quite a few out there.. hidden..

    But it doesn't matter.. because humans are so un-open to anything beyond what they can actually see themselves.. (unless u want to go into god and faith etc.. whitch I don't understand because.. if u belive in a god not seeing.. How come u cannot belive in other things not seen??) I'm so tired of it.. I'm tired of living in this world full of ppl blind to whats arround them.. I'm frusterated and sick of it!!

    What is the purpose of this life anymore anyway? Living in this society what is the point of money? You can have the nicest everything.. and ammount to absolutely nothing.. and be unhappy.. There is no goal to this existance.. u simply exist..

    I'd rather live in a time.. where we actually can SURVIVE!!! Not simply exist in comfort.. And apparently I'm just fucking crazy to almost every human being.. Even with just that notion alone!! Same as my friend!

    I belive in actually having valued friendships without this superficial BS!! And working for it!

    I would rather be dirt poor on the streets with a good group of people I could trust with my life then stuck in a big housewith all this money and nothing worth doing in my fucking life!!

    I'm sorry I don't mean to say everyone is fucking blind. I'm just so tired of the bull shit.. Do people honestly not see what our lives are comming to..? Do they honestly not see what is happening ALL OVER the world!? Or are they hiding it from themselves intentionally..???

    People are changing! Everyones in survival mode and pissed off at the world.. I GET IT! But could you at LEAST now and again look beyond your own shit and realize that it goes a lot further then u may realize??? there is so much more then what u can see with your own eyes.. I'm just so tried.. and so sick.. of the blinders ppl are placing up..

    The way we live in changing.. EVERYTHING is changing!!! Can you not see the paradox??? You ahve to fucking lie to get a job anymore.. U have to play a "game" for ANYTHING!!! Yet they tell you to be yourself.. And there IS NO FREEDOM OF SPEECH HERE ANYMORE!!! Here in America everything is going backwards!!! And hardly any are willing to tell you so..

    My dad, my bio dad.. I had a long convo with him about it.. And he can see it.. My friend can see it.. But so many others CANNOT!!! I simply DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!

    Tired of this.. Ok.. I'm just done..