I'm sorry but this has been a very long and rough 24 plus hours. I had an argument with my mother this morning. In recovery I learned about cleaning my side of the street. What angers me though is that my mother lacks total self awareness of her own behavior. She deflects any of her shit back at me. I am just so tired of trying to better myself. Next would be four months of sobriety after relapsing last September. But right now I just feel so jaded and tired. I have to deal with four more hours of work, but I don't want to do this or really anything anymore. Sorry for sounding negative and vague.