Sorry that you're feeling so bad.
its the only way out I can see just thinking how and when
One of the things suicidal people have in common is not seeing any way out except death. In most cases, this isn't true though. Lots of people have been in the same position before, feeling the same way, but were able to get better.
Do you want to say more about why you feel this way? It's ok not to say more if you don't want to, but maybe we can help you find a better way out than suicide, or at least give you a little comfort.
I hope things can get better soon.