Its like, once I screwed up all those year ago, I was deemed to never do good enough again. I don't feel good enough in any aspect of my life. I'm constantly looking for approval from the people I love most, and all I ever get is negativity. I'm not even allowed to have a stomach bug, because that makes me a hypochondriac. 'And everyone thinks so.' is what I'm always told. I am trying to make my life better and do good for myself despite what has happened in the past, but its never good enough. I'm never going to be good enough. I'm going to be alone, and not good enough. I'm so tired of trying, I don't even know why I bother anymore. I feel like giving up and running away.