I'm Tired

I'm just so tired of doing this. Going from depression to happy back to depression over and over again. I'm tired of fighting my self injury urges. I'm tired of thinking about taking the whole bottle every time i take my antidepressants . My life isn't even that bad in respect to other people but i still feel like this. When i get urges to self injure it feels like there is this thousand pound weight on my chest crushing me because i won't give in. I just want to slip into a state of nothingness. I don't know why i posted this. I guess it's because i don't know what i should do or if i should do anything. I'm just tired of living right now. My thoughts keep turning to doing something bad to myself so that i can go to the hospital and get help but i know that this won't happen. At least not the help part probably. I don't even know what i want help with. I don't think anybody can help me anymore and this site is my last chance for relief.

 

I know what you mean. I have up and down times and I try and convince myself to wait it out and ya it's depressing and hard to perk myself up I don't understand it. It sucks riding the roller coaster i want the ride to stop. today i feel a bit down today so i'm sorry i'm not much of help, but i can relate.

 

Have you ever gone to the hospital to get help before? Or seen a psychiatrist? Perhaps a medical doctor prescribed your antidepressants... What about cognitive behavioral (talk) therapy? I've tried some or all of these things, so I know somewhat of the struggle you speak. And I'm sorry for you, for I hate to hear that anyone has to go through what I do: the pain! I don't have all of the answers, beyond mere perseverance, and a positive outlook (kind of difficult with depression, and even more so, suicidal ideation); the best I can generally do is to continue to ask the right kinds of questions in the hope that one day I will find a better way to combat this burden than I do now. Good Luck and Best Wishes.

 

Hey
I get ya to be deep down and finding nowhere to go sux.MisterBgone had some good points there about cbt therapy.is hard when getting to a point of being so low and helplessness.Hospital can be a great stress relief as long as they can put you on a good plan when they discharge you.Talking and writing things down on how you feel is another great way of dealing with this.It is very hard to go through this and at times it can become unbearable.listen to music even walk try and stay positive and i know thats hard .To find some help with a plan will help heaps always come here to as you will find plenty of support and support is the best.Take care

 

I'm sorry that you are feeling the way you are.
I'm so fucking tired of living too.

 

You state that you go from depression to happy back to depression again. What is it about the happy times that you can capture and apply to when you start to feeling down? What does your therapist and doctor say about that and are they making any medication adjustments? When you go to group session, are there any of your peers there who experience anything similar?