I'm just so tired of doing this. Going from depression to happy back to depression over and over again. I'm tired of fighting my self injury urges. I'm tired of thinking about taking the whole bottle every time i take my antidepressants . My life isn't even that bad in respect to other people but i still feel like this. When i get urges to self injure it feels like there is this thousand pound weight on my chest crushing me because i won't give in. I just want to slip into a state of nothingness. I don't know why i posted this. I guess it's because i don't know what i should do or if i should do anything. I'm just tired of living right now. My thoughts keep turning to doing something bad to myself so that i can go to the hospital and get help but i know that this won't happen. At least not the help part probably. I don't even know what i want help with. I don't think anybody can help me anymore and this site is my last chance for relief.