I'm too far behind

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Ekka, Jan 28, 2016.

  1. Ekka

    Ekka Member

    I'm currently in Japan. In two months exactly I'm going home. I don't want to go back because I don't want to stay.
    I don't want to stay because I don't feel like I belong here. I wasn't able to meet people that make me feel like I'm glad to have been there. I feel alone, there's no one with the same interests or way of thinking as me. Plus it's a dead end for my futur here, I don't have a choice but to go back.
    But I'm afraid. Because I've been walking in circles for almost two years now. When I'll come back after six months things will have changed. When I talk to my friends, I hear them speak about their lifes, they're all doing the studies they want, working hard, moving and accomplishing dreams and stuffs. While I'm back to square one. Again.
    They're too far ahead of me. I always felt like I couldn't reach them, now I also feel left behind.
    I know I'll feel out of place when I go back home. There's no place for me there anymore. I'm not even sure there was one to begin with.
  2. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    I completely understand how you feel - but it isn't a race and life isn't a single "line" that everyone is on at different points. I know that it feels really crappy when it seems like everyone is moving faster than you but the fact is that everyone is moving toward different things. The things your friends are moving toward are not the same things as each other and not the same things as you. You walk your own line and there is only you on it - you are not behind anyone.

    I am sure you will feel out of place to start with - anyone would after spending six months away. But that doesn't mean you will always be out of place - spending time together and doing things together means that very soon you won't feel out of place anymore.

    The truth is I don't think anyone ever feels like they belong - certainly nobody I have ever spoken to. It is a crappy feeling but it is also an incredibly common feeling. In the end the only place you can belong is in your own life. Start where you are, use what you have - and just keep going.

    Good luck to you *hugs*
    2 people like this.
  3. Ekka

    Ekka Member

    Most of my friends are younger than me and I feel like nothing is going right for me. I'm not the lucky type of person. Well I'm not unlucky either so I guess it's okay. Anyway, I think I needed someone to tell me not to try to rush things (It's a very difficult thing to do when everything always go slow and in the wrong direction) So, thanks.

    And that's not true, when I was little I felt that I belonged where I was. I don't know if it's possible to think that way as an adult, but I still remember a time when I felt that I was at the right place. I believe it's possible to feel like we belong even now. Some way or another, we shouldn't give up on that.