:i'm sorry:
I have the same issue, (and have had it for a while).
I'm normally a very caring, sympathetic, funny, humble guy. I love life, and all the small things. Coffee in the morning, sunshine through the clouds. People helping other people. A good book on a rainy day. I love it! But holy shit how easily people seem to be able to steal that away from me.
In short...i'm hideous. I know this for a fact. My facial structure is incapable of stimulating chemical reactions in other peoples brains that make them feel good. I get treated like i'm hideous by completely random people just because i'm hideous. The way completely random strangers treat me makes me feel like none of that matters. I get treated like a creep, a serial killer, a worthless piece of shit in general. I end up asking myself why I don't just become what people automatically see me as? A creep. A serial killer. A worthless individual and quickly conclude i'd rather kill myself.
I've realized a few things being an ugly individual, (not that, that is a prerequisite :tongue: ). Looks matter only as much as you let them, for the most part. Someone who likes you for who you are on the inside is generally not going to care one bit what you physically have no control over. Those are beautiful people that you should do your best to keep close to you. As far as the assholes in this world. There are not as many as you might think. The few assholes ruin your perception of people in general. But the power they have over you and your emotions is whatever power you let them have. You can ignore them, or you can let them take control of you. You can prove them wrong by harming them or yourself, (aka allowing a random person to steal your life and emotions thus proving them right), or by working hard towards something you're passionate about that will allow you comfort and happiness.
Sometimes people are mean because they themselves are insecure, (not all the time..but sometimes). So the next time someone says something mean to you, or makes you feel like shit, put yourself in their shoes. (its so very difficult..i know..but try). Sometimes these people are in so much pain the only way they feel they can go on is by making someone else feel that same pain. Think of how alone they must feel. They feel they've lost control and resort to stealing you, emotionally. That is a dark place to be. Many of us can relate. Keep that in mind and forgiveness comes a little more easily, followed by healing.
And last...nothing lasts. Not even physical beauty. Not life, not happiness, not sadness. It is a constant ebb and flow that doesn't discriminate. Physically unattractive people have to deal with it, physically attractive people do as well. So when you feel like you've given up control to inconsiderate individuals and the only way you feel you can control your life is by taking it, take a couple deep breaths and wait. There is always another bend in the road and you never know what is around the corner.
:donut: long live donuts.