I'm trapped!

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by JumbledEmotions, Nov 25, 2014.

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  1. JumbledEmotions

    JumbledEmotions New Member

    I can not breathe. On a daily basis I just can not breathe. I am hurting so much, and fighting daily. The only reason I continue to fight is for my 2 kids. They are my everything and I am their everything. I can't leave them behind.
    I just want the pain and suffering to end.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hello and welcome, your 2 precious kids need you and you need them. Please get professional help to deal with these thoughts, you have so much to live for and you have so much to give! :hug:
  3. Chloeinoz

    Chloeinoz Banned Member

    Hi jumbled, I just wanted to let you know I understand from you're post you don't say wether it's emotional or physical why you can't breath, I have both I have multiple blood clots on my lungs making it very difficult to breathe then there's my emotional issues where I also find it hard to breathe I take medication and it helps a little.
    Last week I was so desperate to leave this world I packed my car up with everything I needed. I arrived and just sat there, thinking about my own pain versus the pain my children would feel in the end I sat there for 2 hrs and changed my mind. If you feel the urge to act on suicidal thoughts give yourself 5 mins alone to really think about the consequences and then get help any way you can suicide hotline police ambulance just remember things can change and get better chloe
  4. JumbledEmotions

    JumbledEmotions New Member

    I've been in an abusive relationship for 8 years. 8 years of hoping he would change. The last year I gave up. I stopped caring. I momentarily saw a guy who made me feel loved and alive, but I ended it because I knew how dangerous it was for me, and I was even more scared of leaving my 'partner' so couldn't do anything but end something really good.
    My partner found out months later. And every day is constantly about how I'm the worst person in the world, that I am a failure. Constant emotional and verbal abuse.
    I want to leave, I want a new life. But I have 2 kids and nowhere to go. I dont have a job and haven't had one for 7 years. And i know if i left life would be worse for my kids. I feel like such a failure to my kids. Maybe i don't deserve them.
    My psych believes i suffer from PTSD. I've read and i believe i do too.
    I just want the pain to end. It's unbearable.
    I can't kill myself. I just can't. I do think about it though. A lot.
    My partner told his parents today all that I've done, but hugely downplayed how he treated me and the kids. How traumatized we are. They already know our side of the story, but now I feel so embarrassed. Even more isolated. They were my only support and now it's probably gone.
    I'm looking into admitting myself for psychiatric assessment. I'm just scared of how my kids will cope without me, and if it would mean that my partner would just have some ammunition to get custody. I can't lose my kids. That will be the end of me.
    I can't call anyone to find out anything because he is around. And he is on annual leave for the next 2 weeks too. He won't leave me alone.
  5. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hi Jumbled:

    Is there a way for you to see a Therapist and talk about it? Being in an abusive relationship is quite hard and no one can do this alone.
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