I'm trying

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by na-taya, Jun 14, 2016.

  1. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    I'm trying my hardest to be assertive with babysitting and what I am able to do and not able to do.

    I first said I can only do a few night a week....and that was fine with my friend and she said she wouldn't expect more from me anyways. But they were just words. And definitely not truths.

    It's possible she could go away for work so that's a week possible two away.
    I tried to say I couldn't do that as it's to much for me. I have my own life as well yeah.

    The response I got was 'I'll sort out so my her partner could take a few days off and then you can do the rest'

    So basically I'm not being listed to or if I am it's be totally ignored.
    I'm stressed and feel like Sh!t. I'm almost at the end of my rope as it.

    I'm so over everything right now.
    I'm doing my best to hold out just a little bit longer but my fingers and grip are getting weaker.

    I find it hard enough to be assertive as it is...let alone when I do and it gets dismissed or totally ignored.

  2. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support SF Artist SF Supporter

    Hey Na-taya, the thing is.....what if you were to get sick or something unavoidable happened. They'd have to be able to replace you. I realize it's a terrible position to be put in and it's difficult to say no. But it's unfair to put you in a position where you feel bad for having to say no. I hope you can work this out.
  3. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    @Brian777 your so right. I had a cold a few weeks ago and asked for a day off, but I ened up babysitting.

    Same as last weekend I mentioned I may not be able to do one day this weekend as I had other plans, but guess what I'm doing that day as well.

    It's my friend so I'm scared I'll stuff our friendship up by saying no.......but I need to learn that when I'm challanged when I try be assertive to stand strong on my own to feet and not let myself be pushed back down.

    All this is making my daily struggle harder but I'm doing the best I can to push on and not show just how much I'm struggling.

    Thanks so much for taking the time out to respond to me.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi honey, I know you better than most here and I can tell when someone is being used and I think you are being used and ignored. You might think you are replaceable but you are probably not. They might not trust anyone else with the kids. No one would do the hours you are doing for them so they should listen to you, be firm with them and go from there, fwiw I think you are amazing person with a huge heart, a heart that's probably too kind for your own good. I hope things improve for you hun *hugs* Hope you enjoyed your time off, I was thinking oif you x
  5. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    Petal you hit the nail on the head there more than once.

    I've been told they wouldn't trust anyone else so it makes me feel a bit more pressured.

    I also understand what you mean by being to kind. I am to kind for my own good sometimes.

    I know I'm the only one who can fix this but I find it so incredibly hard to find my feet again once I've tried be be assertive in the first place. Assertiveness has always been a weak point for me. And I am getting better before I would be able to even mention my needs. At least no I can mention them. It's just trying to stick by them.

    Thanks for your time petal. I had an ok time off went by to fast. I get an extra day off towards the end of this week so that should be good I hope!!
    Take care and hope your well xx
    Petal likes this.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    *hugs* I had my instincts on being right and hey ho I was. You be the boss, I understand you're afraid of confrontation but it must be done and you are corret you are the only person who can fix this. Best ofck sweetie,message me later abnd let me know how things are going please :)