I'm unwanted and unneeded

[DatAlgorithm]

I'm seriously sick of the redundancy; every day it's the same thing, and even when things DO change, it's practically always for the worse. Nobody needs me; only for superficial reasons and to be a doll... someone to be seen and not heard... and that's if I'm lucky. I can't think of any worse state of mind than dealing with people who pretend to care about me and my well-being yet when I want to do the one thing to SAVE MY LIFE (quit my job) all I get is constant disapproval. People are stupid sheep and refuse to "shit or get off the pot." If you hate me, DO IT ALL THE WAY! Same goes for love! I'm fucking SICK of these assholes who ostracize and ignore me, yet when I get down and express anger or sadness, THEN all of a sudden they seem to care! FUCK THEM! FUCK THEM ALL IN THE EAR! Love is never easy... I'm probably less than a nobody to the woman of my dreams, and can I blame her? She doesn't need me; she has tons of friends who love and support her and tons of guys that are interested in her... I'm likely worth less than nothing to her. To most people, I'm nothing more than a warm body... hopefully soon I'll be a cold, limp, lifeless one.

btw, to anyone who reads this who goes on chat too... sorry I'm acting like an asshole lately. I'm lonely and on a short fuse 'cause of various things... and one of my best friends on here got really sick and hardly remembers me and another one hasn't been around in weeks and I just hope she's ok.

again, here's to hoping I die in my sleep.

 

[Speedy]

Hi David,

I am sorry you feel triggered at work....please continue to unload here, help get those feelings out....am very glad that through these troubles, you can continue going to this safe place (SF) and building upon these warmhearted relationships you have. I will be thinking of your friends whom you are concerned about.....huge hugs. :hug:

 

[morning rush]

wow, I'm sorry about what you're going through. I kind of feel the same way, I just don't get why I even bother to get up every morning. I wish I could be helpful and tell you that all will work out and be okay, but I'm in the shits myself. Like the person above me said, its good to unload here, people are really nice most of the time, although they take forever to reply lol, and I have made a few friends on here too.

I think that people like all that is good when it's not, they try to get it back to good but in the wrong way...we all need to lay off some steam and just to be listened and understood without having someone telling you otherwise or trying to dismiss your problems and feelings...they don't know how to solve it even though its not about solving but more expressing...