ive never ever been like this in my life but im lost. I've always been a positive person, have moral and ethical values, very well educated, a professional with multiple careers and awards and have my own company. I always believe in improving yourself for the better especially via reflection and constructive criticism, to take a different approach in things, a more positive approach in anything. I met the love of my life last year. was absolutely great and I did alot for her and then unfortunately this year, it came crashing down for something I did not even do originally. To cut the long story short, she has put me in ALOT of trouble with the law. I have a clean record, never had any involvement or contact with the law/police. its now heading to the courts. the whole proceduring and accusation is scary. very scary and I am a destroyed person. I even fear of stepping outside my own apartment because of this allegation/accusation. sure, we had a rough patch but you resolve it together and not be like the typical people that exist where they shout, scream, make a big commosion and so on however, she decided to play/act up and let her friends interfere. anyway, i just dont know what to do. I mean, I am not guilty to the 2 counts of assault they have charged me with but I just cannot go through with the whole thing and would plea guilty to the offer they law has made because: 1) the reason for this plea is because they know that the other charge is weak 2) what if I get found guilty? punishment is much harsher than pleading guilty earlier on. 3) its nerve wrecking to even just be in the court room and I just cannot go through with it. But I havent done anything wrong. It seems as if (no disrespect) that women get the upper hand in law. she has been involved in abusive relationships before but I was the only one that was different, according to her and I know this too myself. I had bailed her out from an eviction that was going to take place I helped her through difficult times with her ex husband and her children I was there when she got admitted to hospital for a serious health condition I gave her an eternity ring I supported her/her friends when they were going through a bit of a rough time What more does a person have to do? I dont know what to do about this. This week, they had picked me up for apperently breaching a condition. the whole thing was traumatic and im still trying to come to terms with everything from day 1. Thankfully, I got released. i just feel disappointment to myself and of course, shame to my family because of all this. I can't sleep, can't eat much...can't even be my happy/cheery self like I used to be. This was one of many reasons why she had become very close to me and understood things that only we both could ever understand due to my personality and approach in things, she even confided things in me....and then this? I just dont want a conviction but i cannot go through with all of this and feel like pleading guilty and taking the punishment whilst she is all happy and probably with someone else. its just sick to be honest. I work so hard in life and have changed people's lives for the better.... and i get this. The case apperently is a "minor" case but to me, its massive! makes no sense.