I'm very depressed right now

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Aequitas, Sep 3, 2007.

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  1. Aequitas

    Aequitas Guest

    And i wonder if I'd die if I took <mod edit: method>

    I'm not going to, I'm in an upswing now.... But life is just really hard

    I'm 22 years old, my father just died from suicide (and He was the only familiy I got), my girlfriend left me for my best friend 1 week after that, and now I'm just very far down
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2007
  2. yea life is horrible sometimes

    don't ever try drug od it doesn't work... enough people on this site have tried and ended up in the hospital
  3. Aequitas

    Aequitas Guest

    well, the question is: will it be lethal, or do you have to <mod edit: method>?
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2007
  4. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    we cant give u methods here.
  5. Aequitas

    Aequitas Guest

    but I don't want to die, at least not right now, as I've got my sorry ass to a shrink :)

    I'm just curious... And, I'd like som answer to rest in text as well... If someone have a comforting word, I'd be really greatfull
  6. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    you can have as many comforting words as you like hun, but we are not going to tell you whether or not something will kill you.
    i am here if you would like to talk.
    if not, have some hugs :hug:
  7. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    dont give out methods on how to harm yourself.
  8. Aequitas

    Aequitas Guest


    I understand what you mean, and won't ask anymore...

    I've just never had any thoughts like this before, but, nowadays, my life has gone to hell...
  9. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    I'm very sorry to hear about your ad and your girlfiend

    Why don't you tell us some more about it?
  10. Aequitas

    Aequitas Guest

    Well, first my dad....

    My mom died when i was two, so, I don't remember her... And it's always been just me and my dad. He's never shown me anything that would give out a hint about him being suicidal... And then, almost one month ago I found him in a rope in the livingroom...

    And then, one week after my fiancee left me for my best friend. And they've been harassing me about it ever since, and I've too broken down to talk to my friends...

    I just feel I don't belong here. I'm a really nice person. I do voulanteer work for Amnesty and am a generally nice guy.

    I've never done anything to deserve this.

    So, the last weeks I've blown away all my money on alcohol to drown my sorrows. I've hardly eaten or been asleep, and I'm on the railing right now.

    But, last friday i was at a shrink, and he helped me a bit... going to him next week as well
  11. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    I am so sorry about your Dad. I have never lost anyone due to suicide but I have lost someone who I looked as at my Mum through Cancer recently, so I know what grief is like. Please give yourself time to get over this, and don't do anything drastic.

    As for your fiancee and your best mate, come on, I don't know you but you sound like a lovely person, you deserve so much better than them. Get your own back on them by getting over it and re-sorting your life out. The best way to get revenge on and ex is to show them you are happy without them.

    Okay, please come back off the railing. Come sit down and talk to us. Talk to me. I know the feeling of not belonging but everyone is welcome here :)

    It's good that you are seeing a shrink. And that he is helping. Stick around to see how much better he can make you :)
  12. Aequitas

    Aequitas Guest

    Thanks for supporting me.... I'll pop back in now and then :)
  13. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    PM me if you ever need to talk :hug:
  14. Aequitas

    Aequitas Guest

    last night I sat down with a bottle of pills..... Drank a bottle of whiskey and looked at the stars... I just wanted it to end...

    Then, as I sat there I got thinking, why? why do I think it will get better if I die? I don't belive in God, so, I won't end up anyplace good anyways... So, i found a trash can, threw my pills away and today I feel better than in a loooong time...

    I'll update you guys, but, thanks for these few days I've been here. I'll stick around.. :)

    And you helped me a lot!
  15. Laivindie

    Laivindie Member

    My dear...my father killed himself too, but the pain has to go away!And it will!Believe me!We must believe that they feel better now.
    My boyfriend was 22 too but he hanged himself...please go on because of your next girlfriends :wink:
  16. nzjbs

    nzjbs New Member

    you are grieving, time and talking are the drug to lift you from where you are right now, not taking substance to kill you. What you have been through must be so tough, you are hear now and this is a step in the right direction x
  17. Aequitas

    Aequitas Guest

    back down in the gutters now.... after they decided to rub it good in my face when i met them in town today....

    I need something good to do right now.... I don't want to get those thoughts again...

    please help?
  18. hwynym

    hwynym Guest

    back down in the gutters now.... after they decided to rub it good in my face when i met them in town today....

    You don't need something good to do, you need something good and evil to do to them. Taking the high road is very noble and all, but there's nothing like the visceral joy one can take in supergluing his car locks while they're in the bar together on a freezing cold night...

    If that doesn't work for you, then let your mind find other possibilities.

    They say depression is anger turned inward. So turn it outward. You'll feel better, beleive me - and from then on when they try to rub it in your face, just laugh in theirs, but never say another word to them!
  19. Aequitas

    Aequitas Guest

    well.... I'm far stronger, better trained and bigger than this guy.. so, I don't think anger is a good one
  20. hwynym

    hwynym Guest

    It doesn't have to be physical revenge...think about what I said about supergluing his car door locks! Or shove a potato in the tailpipe - no exhaust means car no go...it'll take him or his mechanic a while to figure it out, if you shove it up there far enough!

    Then smile an evil little smile every time you see the two of them.

    I'm not the devil, just an imp whose job is minor mischief... I guarntee - you WILL feel better. Sounds like the two of them deserve each other, though. Eventually, one of them will do to the other what they did to you. But get YOUR licks in while you can!
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