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I'm worn out...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by janlost, Apr 26, 2007.

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  1. janlost

    janlost Member

    Sometimes, taking of one's life isn't necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes, the hurt goes too deep that nothing, no pill, no amount of therapy will take the pain away.

    There's pain associated with the death of a loved one anyway, be it natural, accidental or otherwise. The living always see it as a loss... others see it as a release. When someone is physically, terminally ill, some beg for release as a way to end the pain. Why is that different from emotional pain?

    I"m just about at the point where I'm ready to take my last steps. I have my plan in place. The only thing that's keeping me breathing is my best friend and even he's pulling away from me lately so it won't be long.

    I'm just so tired of this dance called society. I never got the hang of any of it and I'm tired of trying. I've lost so many friends in the past few years because of the tragedies that have happened to me. My whole family is gone, I have no one IRL except my best friend. Once he's left me, I'm gone too.

    I've felt close to this in the past and when I expressed how I felt (that I wanted to die), I was treated with disgust.

    I've gone through hell the past 10 years and I've had enough. The people that know me tell me that I'm strong enough to overcome all this but I have my doubts. I've been getting more and more depressed over the past few years and it never 'gets better'. The frequency, duration and depth keep on getting worse. I'm just tired and want to rest.
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Are you seeing anyone, getting any help with your depression?
    Everyone sees suicide as such a loss because while there's life there's hope and things can and do improve.
  3. willgethere

    willgethere Well-Known Member

    When you talk with society about suicide then you are greeted with disgust cause there is a huge stigma with it.

    Things are ba now, but with help hun you can get through it, yeah it will be hard and yeah you wont see the point as you are going thru it, but in the end, when things are good then you will be thankful that you didnt do it.

    Please give yourself a chance, get some help, that you can 'get on with' as some therapies arent for some people.
    You have people here that can help you (((hugs)))
    pm me if you want to talk
  4. Jackson

    Jackson Guest

    The idea of rest is always attractive. I realize sometimes that I've been daydreaming about it, and with a sort of bitter disgust, remember my early childhood when I would dream about adventure, ideal situational happenings, and other things that would actually bring a smile to my face. It's rare these days. Every now and then, though, something happens that makes me wonder or appreciate. It's definitely the minority of my time, but I know some of that is within my control. I hope we both can examine ourselves intensely(past and present) and try to find out what could bring us some personal purpose that's worth living for. A foundation is enough to live on. The rest can come later. And there is friendship in many forms out there to aid the willing on their way.
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