I'm Writing This Post From The ER...

So as the title suggests I am writing this post on my phone from the local ER. Yesterday morning I called the crisis line and went to the hospital. Nothing came of it and they let me go about four hours later. I felt rejected and so I bought tablets went home and overdosed. I called the crisis line and told them what I had done and an ambulance and some policemen came. I puked and puked and had a horrible headache. But I had ingested enough that it would have destroyed my liver without intervention. So I'm in the ER right now still hooked up to an IV getting the liver infusion. It takes like 20 hours. And probably later tonight I will be transferred to the psych ward to get the help I clearly need. They are still doing tests as they think I may have permanent liver and heart damage now.

 

AWWW god damnit....We care for you here, and I'm glad you're getting some kind of help. We love you and hope you get better

 

Sorry to hear that Amanda, I really hope you feel better soon <3

 

Amanda, I am so sorry to hear this. It is so unfortunate and not okay in my book that your request for help was not initially heard. I truly hope that you are able to get the relief and support you deserve at the hospital and afterwards. I'm not sure whether you've been to the psychiatric ward before (I haven't yet), but I hear and have read that it's not always fun. Please remember that it is in your interest to get the most possible out of your stay and that sometimes this may mean doing things you may not want in pursuit of that larger goal. Not sure whether you're familiar with this idea but it's all about effectiveness - how effective is or will your behaviour be in getting you where you'd like to be in the long run (which can be a shorter or longer time period - the idea is to give you the space not to act impulsively)? If the behaviour doesn't get you to where you'd like to be, it's something you might want to reconsider. Just some thoughts from somebody who's been (and continues to be) there. Best wishes for a speedy and full recovery Amanda and remember... if one person doesn't hear your request for help and you know you are in need of it, be persistent, and keep trying!

 

It was wrong of them to send you away hun after you went for help I hope you receive the support you need now No one should have to go to the extent you did to get help no one

 

I agree with TE...please always advocate for yourself...If you do not feel safe, do not let them turn you away...glad you are in the hospital and you are safe

 

So sorry Amanda!!! I overdosed 2 weeks ago and was actually was discharged the next day! I hope you can get the help now...keep us posted when you can!

 

It took 27 hours of IV drugs to flush out my liver. Luckily there doesnt appear to be any permanent damage like they initially thought. I suppose thats good, I guess. About 6:00PM last night I was transferred from the ER to the Psych ward. I spent the night and saw my psychiatrist this morning, and she discharged me. I'm really scared and I dont know if I can be safe by myself. I really really really want to try it again.

 

Are they providing any after care? Do you need a group home or mid-level care residence? Please explore your options with your pdoc and if you are not safe, turn around and go back....their jobs are to take care of you

 

They arent providing a ton of after-care. I am set to see the psychiatrist again in September, I have my regularly scheduled therapy appointment on August 23rd and they wanted me to hook up with the Canadian Mental Health Association for peer support and social opportunities... I probably need more intensive psych care but its not available.

I have to go to the university and take care of some paperwork tomorrow morning and then I plan on going home and doing the same thing again.

 

Please don't try it again. :-( If you need to just keep going back to the ER ever time before you do anything. Maybe they will get the hint? I wish you the best. I know waiting for Dr appointments that seem almost from here to etternity away sucks. Getting into see my Psych is like pulling teeth, you just want to ask them if they realize you have a problem.

 

I think everyone knows I have a problem, its just that there arent resources available to take care of that problem. If I lived in a more major centre it might be easier to connect with resources but I dont, so there is less to be connected too. I forgot to mention the psychiatrist did put me on anti-depressants and mood stabilizers, I have to go pick up the pills tomorrow.

 

I am glad that they put you on medication and hope it will start helping quickly. I understand the whole major metro thing, I used to live in a town of 5,000 that was 45 miles from any other town.

 

Im really sorry you feel this was Amanda. I have felt this a lot. Its not good to keep everything thats troubling you bottled up, you should talk to people about it. When i tried we talked and talked and i wanted to try it again it seemed like all the talking in the world wouldnt help me but after letting everything out i felt better. Also just know that your not the only one in the world and you wont be the last.