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Ima a fuck up

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Marshmallow, Aug 23, 2007.

  1. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Great, now apparently i only talk to people when i want something. Whatever. Fuck sake. I'm expected to be at everyones fucking beck and call. I try my best to help everyone here even when I'm sitting here and have just cut. Will sit here and let myself get triggered over and over trying to help others. But hey thats not good enough. Sick of this shit. Sick of this feeling. Sick of stopping the cuts before i go too deep. How about i go deep.

    I'll just be the SF fucking counselor. Fuck how i feel. Fuck that i sit there and trigger myself into cutting.

    Sick of this shit. Been wanting to rant all day. Finally getting it out.

    Cut in the house with my girlfriend and mate yesterday. Both knew i was doing it. Knew i was gonna hurt them by doing it, but selfish fucked up me still did it anyways. 3 lots of cuts in fact. Must of done about 30 in the past few days and so fucking close to grabbing those 3 razors and cutting over and over again. Fuck it. Who gives a fucking shit anyway. Should of fucking jumped in front of that train then no one will have to deal with my shit anymore eh.

    Fucked up Vikki. A complete fuck up. Dropped out of college. Too fucking scared to even attempt to a fecking job. Too scared to leave the house unless i'm with someone i trust. How fucking pathetic is that!! How the fuck am i gonna do a job when i don't feel safe leaving the house without someone i trust?! can't have someone there to hold my fucking hand, can i!

    I'm one fucked up, ugly, selfish, mother fucking prat who seems to be the blame for everything and hurts everyone around them. Even hurt my girlfriend the other day. Nearly ended us cos i was being a fucked up bitch. Is a clean slate but needed that out just to show what a fucking fucked up bitch i am.

    Meh, what the hell. Should leave this place eh? Seems i do no good for anyone.

  2. shadi_saleh

    shadi_saleh Active Member

    Comeon, you have to be fair to yourself. If someone was being a bit of an ass to you, ignore them.

    And I think your large post count is testament to how many people you must have helped.
  3. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Baby, i wanted to reply to this to make u remember how much i lvoe you. im a little drunk (as u can tell from my dancing :laugh:) so ill reply properly tomorro.
    but believe me baby u are NOT a fuck up. anyone that makes u feel like this deserves a slap (and i dont care if they see this or not :mad: )
    the not working, an not wanting to leave the house is not being stupid. if ur being stupid by doing that, then how about me not being able to manage 4 hours at work!!!?! THAT is pathetic.
    anyway, cant type so gonna hug u better instead baby :wub:
  4. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

  5. sarahg

    sarahg Well-Known Member

    :eek: u got sam dancing
    u have never asked me for anything but i hope u know im here if u need me
    but i need something from u
    1,my turkey (yet still to arrive haaaaaaaaaaa)
    2 ,the video of sam dancing heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
    3, u and sam to be happy hugs to u both-always here for u 2
    4 ,a cook would be nice (cheeky me )