Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Jokalo, Jan 5, 2011.

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  1. Jokalo

    Jokalo Member

    I try to be what I can’t be… I call myself a Wicked clown 5 years ago… was it worth it? To say that I’m part of a family now? You can’t be a Juggalo unless you “Weird” or “Strange” because no one else would take you… now I’m being denied by the family…
    I don’t fit in anywhere and when I hear people saying how there life sucks… I mean they say there shit on facebook and 5 min latter they have 15 comments saying that they care, 5 min latter I’m still waiting for a comment,
    I truly can’t fit in anywhere… I get in a chat with someone who seems like they’ll be my friend because that person is talking about the same shit I’m into, after that chat I never hear from them again because THEY have friends, I have only one person I can call a true friend, I started falling deep for this one girl… the last text I got from here was “No. But it’s whatever now….. Just fuck it.” She hates me now, since I been out of the ridge I been smoking pot like a mother fucker because it kept me happy and I didn’t have the need for drama… but now I just don’t give a damn…. The old friends I had never really was my friends… after I graduated everyone stopped talking to me… no one EVER wanted to talk to me after my bull shit,
    Jimmy, Stephen, Vince, Alex, Michael, Nikki, Josh, Christina,
    All my old friends and I don’t hear from them anymore…
    People always bitch about not having a life and bull shit like that, cutting yourself because your girl left you, I fell for 6 girls, they all either, Cheated… killed themselves… Was dared to get me to love them…. got bored with me… or found someone better…. And the newest one, gave up on me….
    I Lost ALL friends but one,
    The Juggalo Family has thrown me aside,
    I can’t get a job,
    I’m fucking retarded,
    Ugly as hell,
    I get picked on for my life choices,
    I get yelled at because I’m depressed.
    I never finish what I started,
    I never fight and people pick on me for being a “Pussy”
    Therapy never helped because when I was depressed it wasn’t my day to go, and when I did go I wasn’t depressed at all so I couldn’t talk about how I truly felt….
    I’m a fake in the eyes of many, I am truly what people would call, a loner… Poser…
    A nobody… and the fact that anyone would actually be reading this would shock me to have then still reading… I gave hints… I gave clues of my failure… everyone saying that I gotta man up and go threw it on my own… I can’t do it alone… Never could… that means I’m not right for the world, means I’m imperfect and I can’t fit in with society…

    Sorry... I wasn’t good enough for you… for anyone… I wasn’t good enough for the Juggalo Family, wasn’t good enough for my past friends, Wasn’t good enough for Love, Wasn’t good enough to fit it with everyone else... because there’s no one in the WORLD like me… I know everyone is different but they still fit in with everyone else.
    They still fit in with some kind of group. I never had that… never had a group to be apart of… because I was Imperfect threw the eyes of all…
  2. Qube

    Qube Well-Known Member

    By reading your post, I dont think you are imperfect.

    I see you as normal just like others. You just need love and acceptance . Thats it. Its nothing wrong with you, I feel.

    PM me. We can be good friends if you want.

    Thanks and take care.
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